


Hell or High Water

by PurpleArrowzandLeather



Category: Destiny (Video Games)
Genre: Captivity, Cayde-6 Being Cayde-6 (Destiny), Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hurt, Hurt Shin Malphur, Self-Reflection, Shadows of Yor, Trapped, a couple bits of fluff, hunters being hunters, pre-game... ish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-25
Updated: 2020-01-25
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:48:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 25,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22398067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PurpleArrowzandLeather/pseuds/PurpleArrowzandLeather
Summary: Shin Malphur is captured by humans while on Mars. They've convinced themselves he's their son and refuse to let him go without a fight. Luckily for him, Cayde-6 is more than up for a rescue mission.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 30





	Hell or High Water

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! :) Another D1 fic for the list. This one is kind of dark compared to my usual stuff, so I'll warn you now that if you didn't like Resident Evil 7, the first part of this has kind of a similar vibe. Yes, I did use the same name as the main character of that game, but it was an accident. Other than that, it should be all right.  
> Anyways, hope you enjoy :)

Shin is on his own. 

No surprise there, but today feels like a day when he could use a fireteam. It’s an odd sort of inkling, a creeping sensation in his bones whispering to him that he shouldn’t be alone. He crouches among some rocks, slinking into the shadows and tugging out a transponder. He’s had it on him for a few centuries, but he’s never felt the need to use it. 

He has his Ghost tune the frequency to the Hunter Vanguard’s Ghost. From the rumors, Cayde is always dependable and steadfast when it comes to his Hunters. While Shin isn’t necessarily one of them, he’s still a Hunter and he’s got a feeling he’ll need the back-up. Maybe that rising-star Guardian will tag along. He’s heard she’s fun. 

“I don’t know if you’ll get this, but it’s the only play I’ve got. Been alone so long, I got no one else to turn to. My name....” He sighs to himself, wondering if he’s making a mistake by sending a distress signal so early. “My name is Shin Malphur. I know you’re probably skeptical, but I’ve got someone on my tail. I’m in trouble. I’m not sure how, and I’m not entirely sure why, but I am. If I’m not back in three days to destroy this recording, you’ll know something happened to me. My Ghost will make sure.” 

His Ghost trills nervously, warning him. 

“I have to keep moving or else -” 

A shot from a sniper rifle rings through the air, hitting Shin in the arm and knocking him back. He lets out a yelp, scooping his transponder up in one hand and stumbling behind cover. 

“It’s too late. They’re already here.” 

He pulls back the ripped fabric of his armor. They went for a weak spot. “I’ve been shot. It’s not fatal, but I get the idea that was intentional. Tryin’ to slow me down.” He pauses as a wave of dizziness rolls over him, pulling up his injured arm with a hiss. His vision blurs. “Damn. Bullet must’ve been laced with... with somethin’. It’s fast-acting, n’ my golden gun won’t.... M’ fading... fading fast, but m’ not risking my Ghost. Archer is staying here with the transponder and staying hidden, just in case I come back.” 

“Shin, no!” 

Shin grimaces, his awareness sharpening a little with the pain. “You’re staying here, and that’s final. I’m not going to let you get captured with me.” 

He hears someone approaching and he tugs out his hand cannon. 

“Suppose he’s out yet?” 

“Just hold on.” 

Shin pants, whispering now. “They’re close. Please, Cayde. You’re t-the only person I can send this to.” He arches his back a little to peer over the rocks. “They’re close. I c-can hear them.” 

For the first time in years, he’s scared and desperate. He crawls a few feet, dropping his gun with clumsy fingers and murmuring under his breath as he searches for somewhere to hide. He pushes the transponder into a crack in the rocks, not even having a chance to stop the message when a knife jabs into his lower back. He screams, trying to struggle away with what little strength he has left. 

“Let go of me!” 

One of his pursuers holds him down with a knee, grabbing his hands and tying them behind his back. “You’re not going anywhere this time.” 

Shin growls weakly at him, everything going dark as the man slams his head into the ground. They drag him off without any more struggling, leaving the transponder behind to wait for help that he prays he won’t need. 

Day1 

Shin comes around with a groan, his head pounding. He sucks in a breath only to find that something is obstructing his nasal passages. He coughs, trying to get at the contraption on his face with his hands. Emphasis on trying. The bed he’s lying on has short railings and his arms are pinned against them at the elbow and wrist. He coughs again, trying to figure out what’s going on. 

Someone approaches the bed, coming up on his side. “Now, now. No need to be panicking. Just let the machine do the work for you, honey.” 

Shin stops, a hiss of air letting him know he’s on a ventilator. It’s hard to let it pump air for him, but he has no choice. It doesn’t look like the woman is going to take the tubes out even though he’s perfectly fine. 

“We’re not quite ready yet, but I’ll be up with something for you soon.” 

“G-get me what?” Shin scratches out. 

She walks away without answering, leaving him to struggle against the urge to fight the breathing machine. He wonders why they pinned him down, but then he realizes they knew he’d want to escape. He lifts his head, something around his neck making sure he doesn’t get too far as he tries to look around. 

_What the hell happened to me? There’s no way I was hurt badly enough to need this._

Despite the substance on the bullet – which he now knows to have been a sedative – he remembers what happened with vivid clarity. 

He glances around the room, realizing that it’s that of an old wooden house. A child’s room, no less, but one wall is covered in an assortment of chains and hooks. Shin has a really bad feeling about all this. He looks for something to help him get out, finding his legs are still free. 

His feet are bare and he’s wearing different clothes. 

The pain from the stab wound in his back doesn’t stop him from lifting his legs up and tugging at the plastic tubes. He pulls, coughing and choking as they slide out of his throat. He gasps when they come free, a weak sound leaving his mouth as he takes time to breathe. 

When he’s recovered, he struggles against the zip-cuffs keeping his arms pinned. They’re thick, probably for heavy-duty electrical cords. After a few minutes of fighting, he finds it useless. He tries to burn through it with a little super energy, but he can’t summon his power. It’s there, he just can’t access it. 

Shin resigns himself to waiting. He doubts he’s going to get answers he wants to hear, but at least if he’s not caught trying to escape, he might get something. 

The woman returns after a few minutes, a tray of food in her hands. She pauses when she notices he got the breathing tubes out, but she plasters on a fake smile and places the tray on him. “We’ve got some food for you, honey. Nice an’ hot.” 

It looks disgusting. 

“Not to be rude, ma’am, but do you mind telling me where the hell I am?” 

“Why, you’re home, of course. Don’t you remember?” 

Shin leans away as she tries to feed him. “I don’t think so, lady. Even if I had a home, it sure as hell wouldn’t be here.” 

“Such language on you, boy. I thought I taught you better manners than that.” 

The Hunter growls. “Not likely.” 

“Now, don’t make this difficult on yourself. I know you don’t remember, but bein’ scared is no reason to get all defensive. It’s all right, honey.” 

“Get away from me!” 

“Come on. A little food will help you feel better.” 

Shin clenches his jaw, turning his face away as she reaches for his chin. Before he understands what’s going on, her fingers are around his throat, crushing his windpipe. He squirms, unable to breathe and unable to escape. His fingers splay in panic. He opens his mouth to gasp for air, but he has to reflexively swallow as she shoves food in his mouth. As soon as he does, the pressure is gone. 

“Don’t be difficult, boy. As long as you’re good, we won’t have to do things like this.” 

He resists the urge to throw up, but it’s no good. He moves his head the little distance he can and pukes over the railing. He coughs, half from the lack of air and half from the exhaustion. He watches the woman with nervous eyes and a sore throat. Her gaze is steely. 

“Fine then. If you’re not going to eat, you can go hungry.” 

Shin doesn’t mention that the idea sounds perfectly fine to him. 

The woman leaves, taking the sorry excuse for food with her. He tries, but for the life of him, he can’t figure out what the hell is happening. 

It fuels a new struggle to get out of the bed. 

He works long into the night, panting and tired. No one comes to check on him, so he figures he’ll work while no one is looking. As the sun is peaking through the boarded windows, the ties on his right arm break off. His hand immediately flies to the thing around his neck, trying to free his head so he can actually see what he’s doing. It’s a chain of some sort, too solid for anything he has on him. 

Without a way to get out of the chain, he works at the other two zip-ties. They come free much easier since he has a free hand, dropping to the floor. Shin twists around on the bed, shifting to face the base of the chain. He pulls until the whole thing comes loose from the bed, the lock on it too thick to break. 

Unfortunately, said breakage is loud and obnoxious, so much so that he knows he’s screwed as feet tromp up the stairs. “What is going on up here?” 

Shin freezes at the voice. It’s the man who shot him. 

The door opens, Shin immediately being spotted next to the bed. “Um....” 

To Shin’s great surprise, the guy looks thrilled. “I told ol’ Jetta you were a fighter. There isn’t much our boy can’t handle, ain’t that right, Ethan?” 

Oh, Traveler. This just got so much worse. “Well.... I hate to break this to you, but I’m not your kid.” 

He frowns. “Doctors said you took a knock to the head. You don’t remember?” 

“Hard to remember a life that wasn’t mine.” 

“Well, come on. I’ll show you around the house again just so you know where everything is.” He puts a hand on Shin’s good arm. Shin doesn’t consider himself to be a short Hunter by any means, but this guy is almost hulking in comparison. His hand fits around Shin’s entire upper arm. “No sense in leaving you confused.” 

Shin blinks. If he’s making an effort to be nice, Shin can’t help but wonder where the punchline is. 

“Right. How about you show me to the front door? So I can, you know, leave?” 

“Leave?” His grip tightens. “Now, why would you want to leave? It’s dangerous out there and it took us days to find you the last time you went wandering off. Kind of what led up to this whole mess, you know?” 

“I really don’t.” 

He laughs, patting Shin’s shoulder as he steers him outside the room. “No, I suppose you wouldn’t. That’s funny, kiddo. You sense of humor is intact.” 

Shin bristles. “I’m not your kid.” 

On that note, he sees the door. 

Shin leaps over the banister, rolling to soften his landing and stumbling to the front exit. His arm and back still hurt, but they’re minor annoyances compared to being held prisoner in a house with delusional people. 

Shin doesn’t make it far. 

Something swings into his face from the side, wooden and definitely hard. He lands on his back, his lip split and his head pounding. With blurry vision, he stares up at the person who hit him. It’s a kid, can’t be more than twenty. 

“I got him, dad.” 

“Good job, Evan. I’ll take care of him.” 

_Traveler, all these people are insane._

The dad, apparently, picks him up. Shin squirms, but it’s ineffective due to dizziness. He’s back in the child’s room in no time at all, cuffed to the wall by one hand while the dad rustles through a few things. Pulling against the cuff proves useless. 

By the time he’s ready to consider something else, the man is coming back over to him. Shin doesn’t even get a chance to protest before a needle is shoved into his arm. The woman Shin assumes to be Jetta enters the room with something white. They wait a little bit for whatever drug they put in him to kick in, uncuffing him and pulling his shirt off. 

He lets out a small whine as he realizes it was a paralytic. It’s an involuntary sound, but one loud enough for his captors to hear. 

The man ruffles his short hair. “Don’t be scared. We’re just trying to keep you safe.” 

Trying to keep him safe does not explain why Jetta is putting a straight-jacket on him. They strap him in together, tying a rope through the strap on his back and securing him to the wall. Because he can’t fight her on it, Jetta feeds him whatever it was she was trying to give him earlier. It unsettles his stomach, but he can’t do anything about it just yet. When she’s finished, they leave him slumped against the wall, allowing him some time to recover. 

Day 2 

He’s had feeling back for a few minutes now, rustling around to get a feel for how much space he has. 

Thankfully, the answer is plenty to escape. He wrestles with the jacket for a good few minutes, thanking the Traveler that he’s flexible. He’s just glad the paralytic didn’t last longer. 

Right as he slips out, the door to the room opens. The kid calls for his dad the moment he realizes what’s going on. Shin’s legs don’t want to work very well, but he leaps on the kid. He tries to summon his golden gun, disappointment thrumming through him as nothing happens. In his moment of foolish expectance, the kid shoves him off. Shin is bigger than he is, but it doesn’t appear to make a difference in his state. 

He scrambles to his feet only to be knocked down when the dad enters the room. He points a shotgun at Shin, the trapped Hunter backing up until he’s pressed against the wall. 

Traveler, it’s been a long time since someone has cornered him. He’d forgotten the fear of it. 

“You sit there and don’t move a damn _inch_ , boy!” 

Shin glowers at him. “I’m not your kid! I don’t know what happened to Ethan, but if you think I’m the answer, you’re wrong!” 

“Evan, go get the new jacket. I was hoping we wouldn’t need it, but it appears your brother is determined to leave us. That head wound of his better heal up soon or we’re gonna have some trouble.” 

The Hunter spits at him. “Only reason I have a head wound is because of you!” 

Jetta comes into the room, putting her hands on the man’s arm. “No, Jackson. You can’t shoot our boy! You know that! He’s just confused, that’s all.” 

“It’s just a warning to him if he doesn’t do as he’s told.” 

Shin can’t resist making a bit of a face. If they won’t shoot him, then what’s the point of the gun? Honestly, some people don’t know how to make a good threat. 

Evan hands the jacket to his mother, this one dark-colored leather. Jackson gives the gun to Evan, moving towards Shin with the intent of pinning him down. Shin, of course, has other ideas. 

He scratches at the man, but his small stature in comparison is not an asset in his situation. It takes a couple tries, but he gets Shin down on his stomach, unable to attack or defend as Jetta hands him a second needle. Shin’s breaths heave out of his chest in anticipation of losing all control, panic filling his entire being. 

The needle goes in, cold and hard. Shin squeezes his eyes shut before it fully takes hold, a small sound leaving him. It’s followed by another. Jetta pets his hair, trying to soothe him but failing miserably. Mostly because he doesn’t like her. 

The process for getting him into the next jacket is longer, the sleeves sewn to the body of the coat and only accessible by zippers and locks. Each sleeve has straps inside, cinched as tight as they’ll go around his wrist and upper arm. The jacket zips in the back as well, secured by a lock attached to a metal collar that goes around his neck. 

The small chain stays. 

They tighten straps along his left side, one under his armpits, one just under his ribs and a pair around his waist. The ones around his waist are far too tight, meant to keep him from pulling the jacket up. Jackson turns him onto his side, tugging yet another strap from behind his back and pulling it between his legs. It attaches to his chest by a heavy buckle, pulled a notch past comfortable. Shin will have no choice but to keep the leather jacket on. To make it that much worse, this one is also secured by a lock. 

Jackson picks him up, lifting the thoroughly-trapped Hunter up higher than necessary. He doesn’t realize why until he’s hanging from the wall by a hook on his back. 

“There you are, Ethan. Now you won’t feel the need to go anywhere.” 

He’s gaining feeling back by the time they’re finished, even if he doesn’t have control of his body yet. Jetta has the awful need to feed him again while he can’t resist her. Evan just leans against the bed, looking smug. 

When both parents are gone, he approaches. 

Shin aches all over, knowing there are likely bruises along his ribcage from all the straps. Without muscle control, he’s looking directly down into Evan’s eyes. 

“Look at you. Thought you were so smart. Thought you could run away from us out there in the wilds. For so long, you pretended. You lied to mom and dad, pretended to love them and all the while you were planning to leave. And now look at where you are, broken and tied up all because you thought you were too good for this family. Now, I’m the good son, and you’re just a screw-up that mom and dad have to control.” 

Honestly, it might have hurt more if he were actually their kid, but as it is, he doesn’t really care. 

Evan flicks Shin’s face, leaving with a laugh. “Have fun getting feeling back. They bandaged your wounds up so you wouldn’t hurt yourself... or did they? I don’t remember.” 

Obviously, the first thing Shin does when he has control back is wriggle. The healing stab wound in his back smarts, forcing him to stop for a few moments. The pressure around his chest and waist is likely unhealthy, forcing his breaths out shorter than he’d like. The more he shifts, the more it feels like the pressure heightens, pain blooming in his midsection. 

His situation has gone from zero to a hundred in a matter of two days. 

He pushes at the wall with his feet, trying to break the hook if he can. He doesn’t know how it’s shaped, but if he can just get down, he can get free. 

It’s a useless effort. 

Shin’s stomach churns, finally having the opportunity to get rid of whatever they fed him. It’s not necessarily something he wants to do, but he throws up again. He’s not sorry that it leaves a hell of a mess. 

“Mom, Ethan’s getting sick again.” 

Shin grimaces. He should have figured someone would be monitoring his door by this point. 

Jetta enters the room with a mop, cleaning up after Shin with a quiet hum. “Just like when you’d get sick as a kid. It was never just once. Don’t know how you’re going to get big and strong if you throw up everything you eat.” When she’s finished, she puts her hand on his cheek. “You must be thirsty with being this sick. I’ll go get you something.” 

Shin jerks his head away from her, growling as much as he dares. She walks out, shaking her head and tutting. She returns with a glass of something that looks like water. The glass is a bit dirty, but water isn’t something he should protest at this point. Clearly, they aren’t letting him go, so he supposes one goal should be to not make this worse. 

Hours pass by in silence until he needs to use the bathroom. The straight-jacket is bad enough, but there’s no way he’s suffering through the indignity of soiling himself. They watch him the entire time, though he can’t say he’s too surprised. After all, they have to unbuckle a strap to do it and he’s no help since he can’t use his arms. 

They get him back in his room quickly, but Jackson puts a hand on his shoulder. “We’re having dinner soon, and we’d like you to join us so we can be a family again.” 

“I’m not part of your family, and I'm not hungry.” 

“You’ll join us tomorrow for breakfast, then. Whether you like it or not.” 

Before he can run, Jackson has him back on the wall. He’s none to gentle about dropping him there either, the breath whooshing from his lungs and his discomfort worsening. 

He coughs, trying to get his second wind as they leave. Shin is a smidge too stubborn for his own good. 

Shin sleeps. He has nothing better to do besides think about the pain. It’s a dull, persistent ache at the moment, so he can rest fairly easily. No one disturbs him, but he’s fully aware of when the person watching his door changes. 

Day 3 

Shin wakes up early in the morning, considering the time. In a few hours, Cayde will receive his message and help will be on the way, but until then, he has to try to get himself out without making his situation worse. 

If he had to wager a guess, Ethan died years ago, but they fooled themselves into thinking he ran away. They wanted him to be alive. After that, they’d probably capture someone to fill his place under the assumption they’d have to make him stay this time. 

Jackson comes into the room, pulling Shin down from the wall. He’s uncoordinated, his legs asleep, but he would suppose that was the plan. The man pushes him down to the dining room towards a chair at the head of the table. He struggles against being put in it upon further examination. It’s less a chair and more a narrow stool with a stick of rebar for a back. 

The man forces him against the rebar, slowly pushing him down as pieces of the straight-jacket fit over the rebar. This is so, so obviously not the first time he’s done it. “Sit, boy.” 

Shin fights to get back up as soon as Jackson’s hands leave his shoulders, but the man slots a piece of something between his legs before he gets than far. They’re thick metal bands, like half of a shackle, but larger. Naturally, he locks them to the chair. He moves his legs away as Jackson tries to cuff his ankles to the chair as well, but it’s no use. 

Jackson settles in the seat at the other end of the table, lifting a glass. “This is a wonderful occasion for our family. All of us here together, whole again now that we’ve found Ethan, will now eat breakfast for the first time since we lost him.” 

“My name is not Ethan.” Shin spits. 

Jetta waves a hand at him. “Oh, hush. We know you don’t remember, honey, but one day you’ll be able to. Imagine all the fun we’ll have then.” 

Shin rolls his eyes to himself more than anyone else. 

She tries to feed him again, pushing a fork towards his mouth. On it is a thick, black and almost paste-like substance with little lumps in it. Or tiny pieces of wood? He doesn’t know. “Come on. I promise it’s good.” 

“I’m not hungry.” 

He is, but not for whatever is on that fork, and he’s certainly not eating anything these people give him. 

Evan shakes his head at him. “If you weren’t so convinced you were right, this wouldn’t even be an issue. You never could admit when the jig was up.” 

“There is no jig to give up!” 

Jetta tries to get him when his mouth is open. 

“Get off me, lady! I don’t know you, and I don’t know them, and there’s no way in hell you’re getting me to eat _that_.” 

Jackson gets up, dropping his napkin over his plate. “I had hoped we wouldn’t have to do this, Ethan, but you give me no choice. You’ll not disrespect your mother.” 

“She’s not my mother.” 

Jackson draws closer, scowling and swearing as he has to remove the restraints. He unclamps Shin’s ankles and legs, picking him up off the rebar and dragging him back to his room. Shin fights him every step, fist ramming into his mouth to daze him. Even though he tastes blood, he doesn’t stop. 

“Two days, no food, water or visitors for you. We’ll see how hungry you are then, son.” 

“I’m not your son!” Shin calls after him, growling as the door slams. 

Shin hangs on the wall again, uncomfortable but victorious for once. He spits blood onto the floor, throwing up what Jetta managed to feed him as his stomach twists. More than anything, he’s tired and he wants this to be over. Cayde should have his message soon. He prays that the other Hunter isn’t so skeptical that he won’t come. 

******* 

It’s four in the afternoon when Cayde’s Ghost wakes him up. He’s on break and it’s been a long day. 

He kicks at his blankets, groaning as he rubs at his face. “What? What is it? What’s goin’ on, little buddy? Is it somethin’ with the Fallen again, or is Zavala mad at me for oversleeping?” 

Sundance trills, playing a message for him. Cayde stiffens as soon as he hears the first part of the message, a coil of dread winding in his stomach as he hears it. The name also bears significance, but not near as much as the fact he’s sending the message at all. After all, Shin Malphur would never send a distress signal without a good reason. 

Cayde jumps as Shin takes a bullet in the middle of the recording, everything going downhill fast. At first, he seems steady enough, but as the chemical on the bullet takes effect, he gets less lucid. It isn’t long before he’s subdued, everything on the recording quieting as Shin is dragged away. The period of silence triggers the end of the message and it clicks off. 

Sundance makes a concerned noise. “He’s already been missing three days then.” 

“Where’s the signal coming from?” 

“It looks like a remote location on Mars. I can only guess where he is now.” 

Cayde leaps from his bed, getting dressed in a hurry. “Get a wave out to Shiro and Abnus. We’re headed there as soon as they’re ready.” 

“But Zavala -” 

Cayde shakes his head. “Zavala can take a chill pill for a second because this is more important than any Vanguard meeting. Shin thought he was in trouble, now he is, and we’re going to get him.” 

End of Day 5 

Shin is exhausted. He has about six hours until the next day starts and he can get some water. He doesn’t care about the food because it’s disgusting, but water is a must-have. 

His waking moments are plagued by the straps of the straight-jacket, breathing getting harder over time. It’s not that he won’t be able to at any point, but the pressure is making his life difficult. His lower body is pretty much numb at this point, so that’s a plus, but should he have the chance to escape, it could be a spotty effort. 

The last hours before morning are slow, but Jetta is in his room as soon as possible. “Good morning, honey.” She smiles, ruffling his hair even as Shin moves his head away from her again. “I brought you something to drink. And there’s food if you -” 

“I’m not hungry.” Shin grits out, putting on an appeasing look when she frowns. “I’ll take the water, though.” 

Shin drinks the water greedily as she offers him the glass, Jetta telling him to slow down before he gets the hiccups. Shin makes no effort to slow down. 

One of the first things he asks for outside of water is a trip to the bathroom, followed again but not caring. They don’t immediately put him up like a bad painting after they’re back, instead giving him a length of chain to wander on. For the most part, he’s left alone, so he walks around. A brief investigation of the window reveals that it’s not only boarded up but also covered in a thick sheet of barbed wire. He takes a few hours to rest on the bed, easing the soreness in his chest. 

Unfortunately, there isn’t anything he can use with his feet to escape. Summoning his Light still proves fruitless, and he’s willing to bet it’s because of the smaller length of chain from the first day. 

No one tries to feed him again for the rest of the day, Jetta apparently taking his words to heart and mostly bringing him water. She brought him something that looked like Vex milk cottage cheese a few hours previous, but didn’t try again after that. 

It’s no surprise when Jackson returns and ends his respite from the hook on the wall. 

Day 8 

Shin’s body hurts, his sides and ribs pressing painfully against the straps of the jacket. The strap under his arms is the one bearing the majority of his weight, but in doing so, it pulls the lower straps up as high on his skin as they’ll go. They can’t go very far at all. 

Not for the first time, he presses against the wall with his feet. After all his efforts, the hook creaks. Shin pushes one last time, dropping to the floor with a heavy thud. A rough gasp leaves his chest, making it hard to think. Every movement to get to his knees is a struggle, the walk to the closet more an uncoordinated amble than a walk. He sinks to the ground behind the cardboard boxes inside, panting. 

Just as he’d figured, Jackson shows up to figure out what’s going on. 

“Evan, Jetta! He’s gone!” 

Shin holds his breath, wishing like no other he had use of his arms. Panic fills his frame as Jackson starts searching the room, Jetta joining him. He isn’t strong enough to fight, and if they’re in the room, he won’t be able to run fast enough to get out. 

Evan runs in with his bat. “Where do you want me to look?” 

“Check downstairs, and make sure the front door is still locked. If he did get out, I’ll have to teach that boy a lesson. Running away from home is irresponsible.” 

Jetta makes a sad noise. “He’s doesn’t remember, Jackson.” 

“I know he doesn’t, but that doesn’t excuse this behavior. He doesn’t respect you, he won’t eat, and every chance he gets, he’s trying to gallivant off into the sunset.” 

“Maybe there’s a girl involved.” 

Shin squeezes his eyes shut. This is just sad. Painful and horrible for him, but disgustingly sad for them. 

Before he realizes everything has gone quiet, a hand wraps around his ankle. He yelps as he’s dragged out of his hiding place, his heart pounding in his chest. Jackson snags the collar around his neck, dragging him out into the middle of the room and dropping him there. Shin coughs, hunched over his knees as he struggles to catch his breath. 

Jackson kicks him over, the trapped Hunter landing hard on his side. “I think it’s time I teach you some manners, boy. I thought we raised you better than this.” 

“Don’t hurt him!” 

“If he didn’t want this to hurt, he should have cooperated with us. He won’t learn anything if we don’t discipline him.” 

Shin rolls partway onto his back, panting as he stares up at the two of them. 

Jackson swings a boot into his ribs, forcing a ragged cough from his mouth. He keeps kicking until Shin is against the wall, facing it in a poor attempt to protect his tender middle. There isn’t much else he can do. 

Shin coughs again, blood dripping from his mouth. He doesn’t mind it so much, but when Jackson forces him to turn over, Jetta sees it. She panics, yelling at him to stop. 

One more good kick to Shin’s stomach seems to satisfy him. 

The Hunter wheezes, pulling in sharp and painful breaths. His lungs calm, allowing him time to spit out the blood in his mouth. It’s only as he sees what Jackson is up to by the door that he struggles to gain his feet. 

“A full dose?” Jetta asks. 

Jackson nods. “It’ll give him some time to think.” 

Shin puts up a fight, kicking at him to keep him away. Jackson’s boot slams into his ribs again, the coughing more prevalent than fighting. While Shin is heaving in air, Jackson pins him down on his right side, pressing his face to the floor. Shin grunts as the needle sticks him, an animalistic growl leaving his throat as Jackson presses the plunger. 

It’s not long before Shin’s bound form is lax and he’s forced to be docile. 

Jackson drags him back to the middle of the room, moving around behind his back. Shin hears a chain being trailed across the floor, a weight settling at his neck. He would be willing to bet it’s the same one as before. The bed should be in reach, and so should the dresser. 

Of course, completely unable to move, nothing is in reach. 

Shin hates this the most. Hours spent trapped inside his skin, trying think of a way out even as he’s completely out of control. He listens to himself breathe, tamping down on the panic sparking through him. 

It lasts too long. He understands what Jetta meant by ‘full dose’, time like an eternity now. It isn’t like the four-ish hour dosage he’s been injected with before, the light coming through the crack fading as time passes. The longer it lasts, the more concerned he gets. 

Shin counts every minute, starting over and over until he isn’t aware of anything else. 

It’s pitch black outside, likely sometime in the early morning. His breath catches, but he manages to swallow. He lies still for a long moment, wondering if he’ll be able to move. The fear that he won’t be almost stops him altogether. 

Starting with something simple, Shin tries to curl his toes. Relief floods him as they move. He stirs with a jolt, a full-body shudder encouraging him to get up. He doesn’t like being on his back any more than he has to. 

Shin stumbles, dropping to a knee. He takes a deep breath, coughing like he’s been wanting to for the last eighteen hours. Ish. It’s a rough estimation. 

The chain hitched to his collar is an uncomfortable weight on his neck, but it’s not unbearable. He staggers his way to the window, giving himself a shake to see if he can wake up his coordination a little bit. It only serves to make him dizzy, spots dancing in his vision. He hasn’t moved enough in the last few days. 

Disappointed as he is about it, he’s more than a little weak. 

Day 10 

Shin tries to strangle Evan with his chain when he gets in a little too close, the maneuvering interesting but workable. Jackson and Jetta burst in the door and he’s swiftly subdued. 

Everything goes dark. 

Day 14 

The bedraggled Hunter swallows thickly, his throat dry. It’s been days since he drank anything – his punishment for trying to kill Evan. Shin doesn’t regret the attempt. 

Every breath tastes like blood. 

He spends more time drugged than not now, sedatives administered in multiple small doses over time in an attempt to keep him conscious but docile. Jetta sits in a chair nearby sometimes, knitting and humming in peace. He despises her because of her near-constant desire to get him to eat. On the upside, said sedatives make it blissfully easy to sleep so he can ignore her irritating presence. 

The pain is more bearable. It’s something he’s found himself to both like and dislike. 

“It’s almost time for supper.” Jetta says, poking her head in the door. 

Shin swears drowsily under his breath. “Don’ care.” 

She moves farther in, crouching down next to him where he’s lying on the floor. “Oh, honey. You’re wasting away like this. Why won’t you just cooperate and accept that you’re home now?” 

“Not my home.” Shin hisses. 

“Silly boy. You say you don’t have one, so how can you really know it’s not here?” She puts her hand on his face, her fingers bony and frail. “We could be happy.” 

Shin stirs, rolling unsteadily to his knees with heavy breaths. He walks with the world swaying under his feet, slouching against the wall under the window when he reaches it. “No. We can’t. And you want to know why?” 

She has tears in her eyes, ones that betray her because he knows that she knows he’s not her son. He knows because sometimes she whispers too loudly to herself. _Not this one. Not this one, too._ “Why?” 

“Because I would rather die.” Shin spits, closing half-lidded eyes to make it clear he’s done speaking to her. “Leave me alone.” 

Leave, she does. 

Shin has no regrets. 

Day 18 - Dusk 

Shin lays on the floor, absorbing the cool to help his rising fever. He’s not sure if it’s sickness or just plain tiredness and a lack of good sleep, but he’s miserable. That’s about all he knows. He doesn’t want to get up, not knowing if he’ll have the strength to make it to the bed. 

He closes his eyes, heavily dozing but not truly sleeping. 

That being said, it’s a deep enough state that he doesn’t hear the three Hunters at his window. 

Cayde cuts through the barbed wire, burning through the planks across the window to get in. Pulling up the boards is potentially too noisy, so it’s safer to risk the smell of a fire than crashing and banging. 

He freezes when he spots the body on the floor, locked up in a straight-jacket that looks too tight. “Shiro, you go down to the front door and knock.” 

“What, why knock when we can -” He spots Shin over Cayde’s shoulder and winces in sympathy. “Right. I’ll go knock. Come on, Abnus. We’re going to go say hello in a very loud and murderous way.” 

Abnus nods. “Agreed. You get him out of here, Cayde. We’ll see if we can find his clothes when we’re done and then torch the place.” 

“Will do. Good luck.” 

Cayde creeps into the room, crouching low and crawling over to the body. He’s breathing, even against the creak of the leather binding him up. 

The Exo shakes Shin a little bit. “Shin. Shin, buddy, wake up.” 

He rouses with a groan, opening feverish eyes to look at Cayde. “Who’re you?” 

“You’re Shin Malphur, right?” He pauses long enough for the human Hunter to nod. “My name is Cayde-6. You sent me a message, remember?” 

Shin visibly relaxes, relief flowing through him. “By the Traveler. I don’t know if you’re real right now, but get me the hell out of here.” 

“That’s the plan. Hold still.” Cayde doesn’t see an easy fix for the straight-jacket, but cutting him out of it sounds like a good option. “When I say still, I mean extremely. We’re getting you out of this the sharp way.” 

The Exo gives him a few minutes to just breathe as he starts gulping in more air, the restriction of the straps and belts gone. If he isn’t mistaken, his exhales are less exhales and more whimpers. The bruising around his waist and ribcage is extensive, dark and angry everywhere a strap was. Deep bruising lines his sides, back and stomach, their points of impact most akin to the toe of a boot. 

A little closer examination reveals needle marks on his neck. Cayde hunts around the room for the source, finding a small box in the corner by the door, far out of Shin’s reach. He opens it, finding rows of syringes prepped with some clear liquid. He glances back at Shin, trying to remember how many puncture marks there were to gauge how many times they dosed him and with what. 

Sundance does a scan, identifying the majority as paralytics and the remainder as sedatives. 

“Cayde?” Shin breathes. 

“Right here, pal. Just hold on.” 

While Shin waits, Cayde picks the locks on the chains, freeing him from the last of the jacket. He holds the smaller chain up to the light, examining the runes on its edge before burning it into a puddle on the floor. 

Shin struggles to get up, crawling to his knees and letting Cayde help him the rest of the way. He pulls a spare cloak from inventory and wraps it around Shin’s shoulders like a blanket, ushering him out the window with hurried care. 

“Sundance, transmat to rendezvous. Let Abnus and Shiro know we’re done here.” 

“Transmat coming up and message sent.” 

Shin grins tiredly at the other end of the transmat, leaning on Cayde more than he’d like. Cayde paces around for a few minutes, listening to his comms for updates. He perks up, turning Shin around and pointing out the house he was trapped in. 

“Ready?” 

“For what?” 

In seconds, the place is up in flames. Shin stares at it, shivering in the cold even with the cloak around him. “I....” He starts shakily. “I didn’t know if you were going to show up.” 

“You kiddin’ me? You call for help, I come runnin’. That’s what I tell all my Hunters, and that includes the ones brave enough to come out of hiding to get help.” He makes a noise. “Oh, and speaking of help, you might want this back. Found it near your beacon.” 

Shin is surprised when Cayde slides The Last Word into his palm. “Thank you. Really, Cayde.” 

“It gets better. We found someone waiting for us along with it.” 

He hears a soft and familiar trill behind him and he turns. Shin smiles. “Archer.” 

His Ghost examines Shin before healing him, taking in all the damage and making a sad noise. Archer nudges Shin’s shoulder, fixing him up in the blink of an eye. Archer bobs up and down, approving as he sees his Guardian healthy and whole again. He was a little sickly, but he’s fighting fit again, even if he doesn’t feel like it. 

Shiro and Abnus transmat in, giving Shin a thumbs up. “Mission accomplished.” 

“And... the people?” 

“Dead, much as I dislike killing humans. Worth it, though.” 

Shin nods, turning away from the burning house. Abnus hands him his clothes and they leave him alone to get dressed. He doesn’t admit to having phantom pains as he bends and twists, not wanting to worry his Ghost. Instead, he takes comfort in his armor even though it could use a patch or two. 

As soon as he wanders from the ship, Cayde wraps his arms around him. Shin doesn’t expect it, but he needs the grounding contact so badly that he accepts it without complaint. Shin is taller than the Exo by a good few inches, but Cayde manages to make him feel protected anyway. 

“Thanks for the rescue, guys. Seriously” 

Cayde steps back, straightening his cloak and shrugging a casual shoulder. “I’m only sorry we didn’t find you sooner. It took us days to track you down, since uh.... Well, we’re on earth right now. Your beacon was on Mars. They dragged you a long ways just to play house, and by the time your message sent, we were already too late.” 

Shin clenches his jaw. “I didn’t want it to turn out to be nothing if I could handle it.” 

“I know you’re a loner and that you’ve got things to do, but you ever need a hand, we will always be willing to show up and save your ass.” 

“I prefer to take care of myself.” 

Cayde snaps his fingers. “Speaking of, you can come back to the Tower and use a shower if you want. I don’t know that you want one, but -” 

“Absolutely. Just... as long as it’s on the quiet.” 

“Sure. You can use mine. No one knows what you look like and I ain’t gonna tell anyone you came around. Everyone is entitled to their privacy.” 

With that decision made, Abnus orders them onto the ship. Gently for Shin’s sake, but still urging. 

They all hang out in Cayde’s quarters when they arrive, Shiro and Abnus starting up a round of poker at his dining room table and Cayde waiting near the cracked door per Shin’s request. He can understand the hesitancy to make sure no one is going to come in, and putting a Hunter on guard is about the best form of protection. 

Shin takes a grand total of an hour in the shower. Cayde asks him how he’s doing every so often to make sure he isn’t having a breakdown or something, but he’s always fine. He steps out of the bathroom looking healthier, if not slightly uncomfortable. 

“Thanks.” 

“No problem. Guest bedroom is ready if you need a place to sleep.” Cayde notes the hesitance on his face at the notion of sleeping in a strange and enclosed room. “If not there, you can take the couch. It’s got a full run of the kitchen and a straight shot to the door.” 

“Sounds good.” 

Cayde moves past him from the bathroom and to the kitchen. “You want something to eat, or are you gonna see how you feel in the morning?” 

“I’ll, uh, I’ll wait, thanks.” 

“Alrighty. Water, then?” 

Shin nods. “Water sounds good. I’m.... I’m not sure what I can do to repay you. I know that I’m not exactly what one would consider one of your Hunters.” 

“I told you, buddy. All you gotta do is call.” He offers him a large glass of water, noting the human Hunter takes it with a steady hand. “I’m betting you’ve heard all about me through the grapevine, which is how you knew to call in the first place. Granted, yeah, to you it might have been a bit of a gamble, but to me? Naw, you trust your gut. If your gut says you’re in trouble, you probably are.” 

“But I owe you.” 

Cayde shakes his head, turning on the TV and turning on some cartoon movie that Kayleigh must have put in. He gestures for Shin to sit on the couch, whispering so only Shin hears. “Only thing you owe me is lettin’ me look out for you awhile to make sure you’re gonna be okay. I know you don’t want to be coddled, but you and I both know you aren’t fine.” 

Shin nods in stoic silence, lifting his glass and asking for a refill. Cayde gladly gets him one and offers him a light sheet to sleep under. Anything heavier than that and he might end up tangled in it. 

“You get cold, just say so. No need to worry about waking me up.” 

Cayde kicks the other two Hunters out of his quarters, both of them raising complaints as they’re in the middle of a game. The Hunter Vanguard orders them out anyway. 

Shin accepts the pillow Cayde tosses him, finding that it’s pretty much made out of clouds with how soft it is. Somehow, the Exo seems to understand exactly what he needs. That being said, he finds it hard to close his eyes. This all seems too good to be true, and the majority of Hunters are wary of that feeling. 

“You know, if you need me to pinch you to let you know this is real, I can.” 

The human Hunter struggles not to flinch. He hadn’t realized the Exo was still watching over him. It’s odd to know Cayde’s presence is already comforting enough to go unnoticed. Any gaze is usually a hostile gaze until proven otherwise, and he certainly doesn’t get close enough to do that. 

“Don’t worry, pal. Door’s unlocked if you need an out.” 

Finally, Cayde disappears into his own room. Shin holds out a hand, focusing until a golden gun forms into his palm. Even after it’s gone, his palm remains alight. Warmth spreads through his frame and he presses his hand to his chest. A tension there eases and he falls into a fitful sleep. 

He snaps awake around midnight, sitting up on the couch with his heart jumping into his throat. Shin swallows, glancing around. He could have sworn he felt eyes on him only moments ago, but he’s alone in the room and the curtains are drawn over the windows. 

Shin sighs, dropping his face into his hand as he works to calm himself. He gets up from the couch, rubbing his arms as he paces around the room. 

“Hey.” 

Shin shies sideways a step, lifting his hands defensively before relaxing. “ _Traveler._ Please, stop doing that.” 

Cayde makes an inquisitive noise. “Doing what?” 

He shakes his head, dropping it with a heavy sigh. “Nothing. You’re just, um.... You just surprised me, is all. I didn’t hear you come in.” 

“Sorry. Old habits die hard.” Cayde wanders into his kitchen, flipping on a small yellowish light. “Drink?” 

Shin follows, not sure what else he can do. He still rubs at his skin, feeling a little chilly. Being able to rub his arms at all is a relief he can’t explain. Cayde tosses him a thick blanket off the table. 

“Got this out just in case. I don’t keep it very warm in here, circuits an’ all.” 

Shin curls up in it, sitting down. He leans until his head is on the table, closing his eyes as he listens to Cayde pouring drinks. 

“I got all kinds of poisons. You a whiskey guy?” 

“Doesn’t matter. Just pick something.” Shin murmurs. 

Cayde puts his drink down in front of him, giving his shoulder a quick squeeze before settling down across from him. The Exo waits in patient silence, sipping his drink. 

Shin pulls himself upright and takes his drink. “So? Why’re you up?” 

“Me?” Cayde shrugs, noting Shin’s odd steadiness. “Dunno. Always been a bit of a restless sleeper around here.” 

“How well do you sleep when you get out in the wilds?” Shin asks, a knowing chuckle in his tone as he takes a drink of what proves to be whiskey. 

Cayde glances down at the floor, his answer quiet. “I’d tell you if I remembered.” 

Shin’s eyes shoot up to Cayde’s but he’s not paying attention. Cayde’s dwelling on what he said, probably not even having intended to say it at all. Of all the things Shin has learned about Cayde in the last eight hours, he wouldn’t have expected the Exo to sound so... sad. 

He shakes himself, downing the rest of his drink and getting up. “All right. I’m going back to bed. I’d suggest you do the same.” 

Shin sits in silence for a little longer, finishing his drink and putting both glasses in the sink. He flips off the light and wanders back to the couch. With the alcohol warming him, he’s able to settle back into sleep fairly easily. He only wakes up again when it’s morning and Cayde is getting ready for another workday. 

“Hey, sorry to run out, but I’m already late. Make yourself something if you’re hungry or don’t. About all I got is ramen, but Kayleigh might’ve left something in the fridge.” 

Before Shin can answer anything the Exo said, he’s already out the door and gone. 

He gives himself a shake, lifting an arm from over his face with a groan. He slides off the couch, crawling to his feet with stiff muscles. Traveler, he slept like a rock for the last couple hours, and not in a good way. He limps a few steps, his leg asleep as he makes his way to the kitchen. Shin opens the fridge, huffing as he sees stacks of ramen on the shelves. 

Unbelievable. 

Fortunately for him, it does appear that this Kayleigh person was in the kitchen recently There’s a drawer in the bottom section with her name on it, one labeled ‘Tevis’ right next to it and ‘Abnus’ on the far left. He wonders just how often it is that Cayde opens up his home to the few close friends he has. 

He pulls open the drawer, feeling slightly guilty since he’s a bit choosy at the moment. He takes meat and cheese, closing the fridge behind him. Finding a knife isn’t difficult, so he puts together a small plate for himself. 

He stares at it for a good few minutes, wondering if he’s even going to eat. 

As soon as he puts the meat in his mouth, he finds out he’s starving. Still, he knows he shouldn’t overindulge, even if his Ghost did fix him up. It is Kayleigh’s food after all. He’s only borrowing until he has a chance to pay her back. 

Shin does the few dishes that there are, glancing around for anything else he can clean up while he’s still in Cayde’s quarters. He folds the sheet and blanket on the couch, fluffing the pillow for longer than necessary. 

Just to appease his curiosity about the guestroom, he peeks inside the door. 

It’s good-sized, and furnished well. He flips on the lights, moving for the closet on the right to see what’s in it. He’s surprised to see at least three sets of Warlock robes and a multitude of Hunter cloaks. On the top shelf, there are two chest plates ready to go and a set of throwing knives next to each. 

He’s not surprised to find weapons in every drawer of the nearby desk, including the one with the supplies for cleaning them. Classic Hunter paranoia at its best. 

Shin turns, finding the wall by the door covered in everything from pencil drawings to oil paintings. They’re all beautiful. He can’t help but move past the queen bed to stare at them. He recognizes so many of the landscapes from his own travels, each one crafted with the crisp clarity of experience. Shin can’t help but touch the paintings, as if pulled by some unseen force. 

The closer he looks, but more he realizes that they were created with hands that shake. They shake because something inside is never silent, always whispering. He can only assume it’s because of the Void. 

Each one is signed ‘Tevis’ in slanted and thin cursive, the small letters tucked into the bottom left corner. 

The only one that isn’t his is a drawing in the middle on the right edge. He can’t help but smile at its crudeness in comparison, this one a drawing of stick-people on what looks like a sniper’s perch in the mouth of a cave (if he squints). Two of them are laying down with rifles, one labeled as ‘Andal’ and the other as ‘me’. 

Kayleigh (a head, a dress with a neck and L-shaped stick feet) is leaning against the wall at the mouth of the cave. Another person is sitting against a rock wall, a horn on his head and a poorly-drawn hand cannon on the end of his hand-less arm. Oddly enough, Shin supposes one needs a hand to use a hand cannon. This one is Cayde. The last two are on what he assumes to be sleeping bags, z’s floating above their heads along with the names ‘Tevis’ and ‘Abnus’. 

That leads Shin to assume the owner of this picture is Shiro. 

The wall on his right draws his eyes next, reflective picture paper is hung in clusters instead of lined up like Tevis’s works. A Warlock – Kayleigh, he presumes – is in almost all of them as the photographer or her Ghost in the position. The few that aren’t done by her are secured with throwing knives or pins. It appears Kayleigh is fond of sticky-tack. 

Some of the scenes are familiar, things he’s seen himself or near enough. There are images in one cluster of the group in various bars, some of them with neon blue and green lights and others classic with crushed peanuts on the table and floor. 

A pang goes through him as he reaches the cluster in the middle. They’re all pictures with the same Hunter, the same cloak hanging from his shoulders that Cayde wears. The center picture of this grouping is of only him, his hood down and a wide smile on his face. His dark eyes are kind and warm, crinkled at the edges. 

He has short brown hair, a crew cut similar to his own. Shin notes his thin beard is neat, trimmed in a way that lines his jaw to make it appear sharper. 

Shin's eyes burn as he steps back and he has to sink onto the bed for support. He heard about what happened to Andal, but he never realized how many people were still mourning him. Shin doubts they ever forget he’s gone, his absence an ever-present gap where there shouldn’t be one. He never met the previous Hunter Vanguard, but he can sense the bond Andal shared with the group in every picture. 

There is too much going through his head to stay focused on that cluster any longer, so he’s forced to move on. It hurts a little to see the rest of the pictures and be able to tell which ones were before and which ones were after Andal’s death. Not only is he missing from them, but the smiles of Tevis, Kayleigh and Abnus aren’t as wide. Shiro and Cayde’s eyes aren’t as bright. 

He’s taken with how much memory is here, staring him in the face. So much history, and not one person who isn’t invited in will ever know. 

Shin has no idea how Cayde could ever offer him a room filled with so much family. 

The human Hunter slides back against the headboard, breathing in the warmth of the room as if he could absorb it. This room.... Shin is convinced this room is what home feels like. Somewhere you go when you’re lonely or afraid to find comfort. The pain and sadness ingrained inside are somehow a comfort too. It’s a place you go to remember. 

The space is almost too much for him already, but then he shifts his back a little. He looks to his side, finding the headboard intricately carved. He touches the image with his hand, surprise filling him as he recognizes Felwinter’s Peak. 

It’s not just the headboard. The bedposts are carved with likenesses of hand cannons, Hawkmoon on the left and.... 

Shin leans forward, scooting when he can’t reach. The bedpost on the right is The Last Word. He would recognize it anywhere. 

He searches for an inscription, trying to figure out who made the frame. It’s at the foot of the bed, hidden under the bottom edge. The writing is beautiful, surprisingly so as he finds the name at the end of it to be Shiro’s. 

Apparently, his carving skills far outweigh his drawing skills. 

Shin stares at The Last Word for the longest time, wondering how the hell a small piece of himself ended up here. All of this, and somehow, some way, he’s part of this. 

He stands up, facing the bed. With fervent observance, he notes the quilt on it is handmade. Shin searches for a name on it, a desperation he doesn’t understand thrumming through him. His prying hands stop in their tracks when he finds it. 

_Brask._

A rough breath leaves his chest as he sinks to his knees. Even in death, Andal makes sure his family stays warm. Shin wonders how many blankets Cayde has folded up and waiting to be changed out. While sewing must have been a talent Andal kept to himself, Shin can almost hear the snickers as his friends endlessly ribbed him for it. Somehow, he knows Andal never minded being teased because he knew how safe the blankets made them feel. 

Shin steadies himself, knowing he’s still missing two parts of the puzzle that built this room. 

He finds Abnus’s mark by the work table, not even having noticed them hiding behind the desk in a portfolio. They’re blueprints, mostly for sniper rifles but with a few others mixed in. He spots a bow as he’s paging through the designs. He doesn’t pry further than glances at each because of privacy, but they’re really good. 

He peers around the room, still searching for Cayde’s heaviest influence on it. It can’t be obvious, otherwise he would have seen it already. Shin finds himself drawing up short, thinking over everything Cayde has said in the last half-day. Only one part of what he’s said helps him understand. 

_I’d tell you if I remembered._

More than anything, Cayde wants out. Shin realizes that his rescue may have been the first time Cayde has been able to leave the Tower in years. 

“Traveler, what the hell would I do if I was chained to this place?” 

He pauses, chuckling softly to himself as he figures it out. The answer is up. Cayde would lie on his back and stare up at the stars, searching for adventure. 

Shin turns out the lights, sitting down at the foot of the bed and lying back. The ceiling is unreal, the design that of an Awoken star chart. He could just reach out and touch the little worlds, hold burning supernovas in his hands, or gaze into the heart of a nebula as new stars are born. 

The Hunter’s wonder turns to disquiet, his feet leading him to the only empty corner. He slides down the wall, staring at everything around him. It’s too much for him. All of this is too much. Never has it been clearer as to just how lonely his path is. 

Shin Malphur doesn’t have friends. 

He doesn’t have family. 

He doesn’t have a _home._

It never bothered him before this whole mess. It never bothered him before he met some of the people who stayed in this room, who rescued him even though they had no idea who he was. It never bothered him that he was always cold. 

Shin lets go of a shuddering breath, tears stinging his eyes for the first time in centuries. None of his attempts to calm down are any help, agony squeezing his chest until the first sob bursts from his mouth. He curls his knees up to his chest, wrapping his arms around them. His shoulders shake with every breath, weakness curling through him as he cries. 

Archer appears just over his shoulder, crooning to him. The little Light nudges his Guardian’s head, attempting to get a response from him. It doesn’t appear that Shin even realizes he’s there. Archer doesn’t know what’s wrong, and he certainly doesn’t know what to do. He can only hope that Shin finds some way to figure out whatever’s going through his head. 

Shin is trying. 

Trying to stop the tears – _the pain, the grief, the loneliness_ – only makes it worse, his short and panicky breaths interrupted by the sobs jolting his frame. He doesn’t know how to make it stop. 

He just wants to make it go away. 

The crying persists. 

He doesn’t know how much time passes before he’s some semblance of calm, but it feels like an eternity. Shin can barely bring himself to get up. 

His first step sends a box of tissues spiraling out of his path. 

“A-Archer?” 

The little Ghost appears, transmatting the box into his hands. “I’m right here.” 

Shin nods, treading unsteadily from the room. Archer presses against him, trying to help as much as he can. He pushes his Guardian to the bathroom so he can wash his face. It’s nice, but it’s also not what he needs. 

What he needs is an answer. 

Shin straps into his armor, buckling his cloak over his shoulders. He waits just long enough for the obvious signs of his weakness to go away before leaving Cayde’s quarters. 

The bright sunlight outside is like a smack in the face, a rather rude awakening in his state. He tugs his hood up around his head, cutting the glare. Shin knows to avoid Ikora’s gaze, so he figures he’ll just poke his head down into the Hall of the Vanguard just long enough to see if Cayde is there. 

He’s not, but Shin could almost swear Ikora knew. She’s always kind of had that ‘speak to me and I’ll decide your fate’ vibe. 

The only thing he can think of otherwise is the hangar. Seems like a Cayde kind of place. 

Cayde is hidden well, buried in paperwork in a barely-noticeable corner. The only reason Shin finds him so quickly is because of the comm unit Cayde throws at the wall with a vengeance. 

Shin picks it up, moving into the small space with caution. “Cayde?” 

“What?” 

The human Hunter balks at the bitterness in his tone, taking a confused step back. “Is... is now not a good time?” 

Cayde’s head snaps up, his demeanor cooling immediately. “Oh, hey. Sorry, pal. It’s just been a bit of a long day already. Zavala won’t stop buzzing me while I’m actually trying to get work done and I think if I don’t finish all this today, I’m going to go insane.” 

Shin glances at the stacks of paperwork. If they were all in one pile, they’d be as tall as he is. He’s not exactly what one considers short. “This is all from today?” 

“Well... yeah. Why?” 

The human Hunter tugs a chair over, sitting down on it backwards. “I could help you with some of it if you’d like.” 

Cayde makes a confused noise. “You want to do my paperwork?” 

“Not really, but it looks like you could use the help.” 

The Exo shrugs, halving one of the piles and handing it to him. “Here you go. Take a pen. They all come with free yelling from Commander Zavala himself.” 

Shin isn’t quite sure what to make of that comment, but he takes it in stride anyway. His fingers are a mite unsteady with the writing utensil, the number of times he’s even held a pen in the last few hundred years a bit on the low side. 

It takes him a few papers to realize Cayde is staring at him. 

“What?” 

He tilts his head. “You okay?” 

“Yeah, fine. Why wouldn’t I be?” 

“Aside from the obvious reasons?” Cayde taps Shin’s fingers with his pen. “Your hands are shaking. Thing I noticed last night when you were drinking your whiskey is that you have perfectly steady hands.” 

Shin glances down at his fingers, dropping the pen and splaying them. “Just haven’t written in a long time, I suppose. Not something you do while tracking Shadows.” 

Cayde chuckles, getting back to his paperwork. “All right, buddy. We’ll pretend I believe that.” 

Confused, Shin wonders just how easy it is to see through him. He hasn’t said anything out of the ordinary that he knows of, but somehow Cayde has hit the bulls-eye while blindfolded, riding backwards on a moving sparrow. 

Shin is quiet for a long while before looking down at his hands. Still shaking. “How? How could you offer me that?” 

“Offer you what?” 

Shin grits his teeth. “That room. How could you offer me that room?” 

Cayde blinks his Exo eyes at him. “It’s the spare bedroom. You know, a thing you let guests sleep in. What else was I supposed to offer you? The bathtub?” 

“You and I have very different definitions of spare. That isn’t something you offer to strangers.” 

“What do you mean?” 

Shin rubs at his temples, pulling in a hard breath. Cayde murmurs for him to take it easy and to take his time, but Shin needs to understand. “All your lives are on those walls, Cayde. Bits and pieces of all of you. How could you just let someone sleep in there who you haven’t even met before? The art, the pictures, the quilt, the bedframe, the blueprints, even the damn ceiling. That’s not a guestroom, Cayde. That’s a _family_ room, and you don’t offer something like that to people you just met. Why? Why would you do that?” 

Cayde blinks again. “Huh.” 

“’Huh’ what? That doesn’t mean anything.” 

“Usually no one pays that much attention. They’re just kind of looking for a safe place to pass out for a bit. Plenty of my scouts do it.” 

Unbelievable. Cayde has to be the most intelligent oblivious person he’s ever met. 

Shin quiets, turning back to the paperwork until he can out what to say. Cayde watches him for a few seconds before doing the same. 

The comm unit goes off and Shin jumps as it rattles the table. Cayde picks it up, sighing heavily. “Yes, Zavala?” He’s quiet as he listens, and his answer is curt. “Fine.” 

The other Hunter is confused. 

Cayde rubs his brow, getting back to his paperwork. Shin follows suit as he finds Cayde isn’t going to tell him about it, his rising temper with Zavala in need of cooling. 

They manage about twenty minutes of peace before the comm unit beeps at him again. 

Cayde answers, his voice coated in faux cheerfulness. “You know, Zavala. You might actually want to let me work for more than a few minutes because every time you call me, I’m more and more inclined to throw this paperwork off the Tower where you’ll never see it again.” 

Not a surprise. Shin wanted to do that the moment he saw the piles. He resolves to answer the page first the next time it happens, trying to remember what is was that those phone thingies before the Golden Age used to say. 

Zavala makes it a full ten minutes before the next page. 

Shin’s hand snaps to the receiver and he puts it over his ear with a smile, putting a finger to his lips when Cayde tilts his head in confusion. 

When Cayde doesn’t answer immediately, Zavala is suspicious. “ _Cayde_ _?”_ Wow, this guy even _sounds_ pretentious. 

“We’re sorry. The number you have entered cannot be completed as dialed. The frequency 4-0-8-.-2-2 is not available. Please check the number and dial again.” 

Cayde covers his mouth with a gloved hand, a small ‘ _Oh, Traveler_ ’ leaving him. 

“ _Whoever this is, this is not funny. Where is Cayde?”_

Shin hears Ikora in the background. “ _For the Traveler’s sake, Zavala. You don’t have to hound him like he’s going to disappear.”_

“ _He did disappear. For_ _fifteen_ _days. You would think after Andal he would have learned that he cannot simply run around without backup. It’s dangerous.”_

“ _He had backup, but you’re not reprimanding Shiro or Abnus. You’re punishing_ _Cayde_ _because he went somewhere in a hurry and he won’t tell you where. Put the comm link down and let him sort through the heap of paperwork you dumped on him. He might actually make progress without you breathing down his neck.”_

Zavala sighs. “ _Fine. Whoever this is, you can tell_ _Cayde_ _that I’ve been issued a cease and desist by_ _Ikora_ _. I want to see that paperwork done by end of day tomorrow.”_

The line clicks sharply and Shin drops the comm link on the table. 

Cayde taps his pen on the table. “What did he say?” 

“He wants his paperwork done by the end of tomorrow, but Ikora issued him a cease and desist in the constant paging department. I would assume on pain of death, knowing her.” 

The Exo laughs, leaning down to start scribbling through the paperwork again. “Oh, she did, did she? Didn’t know she had it in her.” 

Shin hums, working through his considerably smaller pile as Zavala’s words niggle at him. He doesn’t like that Cayde is in the firing line because of him. 

“I can hear you thinking.” Cayde murmurs, still writing. 

“Sorry. Just... something Zavala said is all.” 

Cayde huffs. “I know the feeling.” 

“He said you disappeared for fifteen days.” Shin says, clicking his pen slowly but repetitively. “I didn’t realize you’d take so much heat for leaving.” 

“Eh, if Zavala could, he’d chain me to the table. He’s always considered me a flight risk and likely more trouble than I’m worth.” 

A ghostly sensation of cuffs on his ankles and rebar against his back has him dropping the pen and getting up. He paces, meeting a wall and turning back. Cayde eyes him with concern. 

“You okay, buddy?” 

Shin’s chest tightens, forcing him to put his hand on the wall for support. “He....” Shin swallows, taking a heavy breath. “He can’t do that to you.” 

Cayde helps him to the floor when he realizes he’s becoming unsteady. “Easy, buddy. It’s okay.” 

“No, no, no. Being stuck in this place and not being able to get out. Every move you make watched and monitored. There’s the door, but you can’t ever leave because of the chains, and the more you fight the more they try to control you and... and... when they can’t, they c-can't, they just make sure you don’t have a choice other than to lie there. Can’t move. C-can't get out -” 

Cayde shushes him, lifting a hand as if to touch him but never making contact. Traveler, Kayleigh is so much better at this kind of thing. She’s very huggable. He has Sundance ping her Ghost, hoping the Warlock is in close proximity. 

“She’s on her way.” 

Cayde nods, doing what he can for Shin while they wait. “Just hold on, buddy. You’re gonna be okay.” 

Kayleigh arrives in only a few minutes, immediately kneeling next to Cayde. “What happened?” 

“Said something about Zavala wanting to chain me to the table. Poked at things I shouldn’t have.” 

She puts a hand on his shoulder. “It’s not your fault.” 

Cayde nods quietly, leaving Shin's side and backing up to give Kayleigh some space.

"Are you okay?"

Shin shakes his head.

"If I touch you, is that all right?"

The Hunter lifts his head a little to look at her. He swallows back a shaky breath. " _Should be."_

She crawls up beside him, murmuring soothing words to him. She tugs her gloves off, carding gentle fingers through his hair with one hand and pulling him against her with the other. His hood gets pushed back, making it impossible to miss how tightly his eyes are closed. Ever so slowly, Shin curls around her in return. 

He breathes through the aftermath of his panic, the circling motion of her nails in his hair grounding. Shin can easily feel her heat, its effect pulsing her sweet scent around him. Like warm honey. 

“That would be my perfume plus Solar energy.” 

Shin freezes. _Dear Traveler. Did I say that out loud?_

Cayde chuckles quietly. 

Kayleigh rubs his back, reassuring him and telling him she doesn’t mind. He’s still uneasy, and Kayleigh seems more than happy to let him stay put as long as he wants. Still, he doesn’t want to make anyone uncomfortable. 

He pulls back, getting a better look at her. Just like the pictures, the Awoken woman has fiery red hair and soft blue eyes. 

She offers him a hand, the Hunter taking it without hesitating. He tugs his hood back up, offering her a smile, albeit a pained one. “Thanks. Kayleigh, right?” 

“That’s me, and it’s no problem. I would have come along for the rescue, but Ikora had me mid-mission on Venus. It’s good to meet you, Shin.” 

He looks to Cayde. 

Cayde lifts his hands in defense. “Hey, I only told our little group. We can keep a secret. If we couldn’t, I guarantee you would have heard about it by now.” 

Shin nods, his attention shifting back to Kayleigh. “I, um.... I wanted to thank you... well, thank you again, since I ate some of your food this morning.” 

“That’s what it’s there for. I think I’d be more concerned if you ate Cayde’s ramen.” 

Their hospitality probably shouldn’t surprise him at this point, but the relief that she isn’t angry makes him weak. 

The two of them guide him to sit down on his backwards chair, saying nothing as Shin dives right back into the paperwork to avoid the awkwardness creeping up his spine. Kayleigh laughs softly, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. Sure, it’s technically on his hood, but it’s reassuring in a surprising way. 

“Feel better, Shin. See you soon.” 

He hums as a response, trying to ignore the warm and fuzzy feeling in his bones. 

Cayde resituates himself in his chair, watching Shin with careful eyes. It takes him a long time to come up with something to say. “You asked me before why I would let you sleep in the guestroom. I think you’ve got your answer right there.” 

“What?” 

“You need people, Shin. Good ones.” 

Shin makes a face. “But I’ve -” 

“I know, I know. You’ve been taking care of yourself longer than I’ve been alive, but I’m telling you, that’s a few hundred years too long.” 

He tries not to be offended considering he was doing what he had to. He couldn’t drag others into the Darkness with him as he chased Shadows of Yor around. Seeking out Guardians who would fall to the Dredgen’s doctrine is important and endangering other people on his mission is something he refuses to do. 

Cayde sighs. “I get it if you don’t like it. No one said you had to, but without people around -” 

“The last _people_ I was around paralyzed me, pinned me up in a straight-jacket and shoved food down my throat, so you’ll have to excuse my cynicism.” 

The Exo levels him with a scathing look, one that makes Shin realize he should have let him finish. Cayde has been nothing but understanding with him, and he doesn’t deserve to have his head torn off for trying to help. 

“Without people around who’re going to treat you right, you’re going to crash. So, to answer your question, no. I’m not just offering you a room. I’m offering you people.” 

“Cayde, I can’t just.... I’m not....” 

“Not what?” 

“I’m.... I’m an outsider.”

Cayde smiles an Exo smile at him, but it’s sad. “Shin.... Do you remember the first thing you said to me?” 

“It was yesterday. I didn’t know if you were real.” 

“No. The first thing you said to me, even though it was a message, was that you didn’t have anyone else to call because you’d been alone too long.” 

Shin nods quietly, his hands moving to pick at the pen on the table. 

“So, you need someone to turn to? You have someone. Multiple someones, in fact. Whether you stick around or don’t, you think you’re in trouble, you call. Any of us will answer, and as many of us that can are gonna show up. You don’t do this waiting-three-days thing anymore. It’s not safe, and it made me all sorts of twitchy knowing we were already days behind you.” 

The apology Shin issues is almost too quiet to hear. “ _I’m sorry.”_

“I know you are. You’re spooked pretty good right now, and rightly so. I’m just trying to remind you that none of us are invincible, not even the mysterious Man with the Golden Gun.” 

Shin lifts his eyes to Cayde’s. “Is that why you rescued me? Because I’m Shin Malphur?” 

The Exo makes a noise, both hurt and surprised. “Do you really think so little of us? Or worse, think so little of yourself as an individual?” 

“How can I know?” 

Cayde’s metal heart breaks a little bit for him, the vulnerability in that one statement enough to tear down even the strongest Guardians. “The room. You’re not an outsider, Shin. No one willing to come to me is.” 

Shin is confused for all of a second before it hits him. The “spare room” Cayde offered him is no place for a myth. It’s a place for.... Well, Shin would say family, but Cayde would say a person. 

“Now, come on. We’ve still got a lot of paperwork to go and all day to spend on it.” 

“I don’t know how you do this all day.” 

Cayde shrugs. “With my strong sense of wit and personality.” 

Shin laughs, picking up his pen to scrawl on the forms he has left. He finishes with his pile, but he asks for a second one. Cayde looks at him like he’s crazy, but Shin is determined to start paying Cayde back. Even if it’s a minimal start as doing paperwork. 

With his help, the pile dwindles in a matter of a couple hours. Shin can’t help but look at his sloppy writing and smile. It’s terrible, and Zavala is going to hate it. 

Cayde picks up one of his pages. “Wow. Your print is as bad as mine. Here, look. Zavala won’t even know the difference.” 

“You do all this paperwork all the time and your handwriting still looks like this?” Shin laughs at the chicken scratch. “Must be a Hunter thing.” 

“Must be.” Cayde puts a hand to his head, listening to something on his internal feed. “Ah, that’s good. How do you feel about some grub?” 

“Um... good?” 

“Good. Tevis is mucking around down in the city and he’s getting takeout. He’s at the Chinese place Kayleigh likes and he’s taking requests for about... uh, the next two minutes, knowing him. And, for the love of the Traveler, don’t say just to pick something.” 

Shin makes a bit of a face. “But... I don’t -” 

Cayde pauses, tilting his head. “Don’t what?” 

Traveler, this is getting a little redundant, but it really does make him nervous to take advantage of their hospitality. “I don’t want to impose.” 

The Exo gets up, motioning for Shin to follow. If Cayde were taller, Shin would almost guarantee Cayde would be slinging his arm around his shoulders to lead him. Shin wonders for a few moments how Cayde can be so nice. Hunters are naturally cynical, skeptical, and all manner of paranoid, so to have the Exo metaphorically take him under his wing so quickly is disconcerting. 

“Look, Shin, if I’m offering it to you, you’re not imposing.” 

“I.... “ 

Cayde pauses, eyeing him a little bit as he realizes Shin is not comfortable in the least in a social setting. He should have figured a man who’s been alone as long as Shin wouldn’t be ready to deal with potential violations of social norms. 

“I’ll just have him order some teriyaki chicken, all right?” 

“Sounds.... Sounds good.” 

The Exo nods, leading the way back to his quarters. “Good. Be nice enough to Tevis and he might not ask you to pay him back.” 

“I don’t have any of my glimmer.” 

“I was kidding, buddy. None of us are going to ask you for anything and if you try to pay us, we won’t take your money.” 

Shin puts a hand on Cayde’s door, stopping him from opening it. Cayde is surprised, but it doesn’t look like he’s complaining or judging. “Then I don’t know how I’m supposed to thank you. You came to rescue me even though it put you on Zavala’s shit list. Now you’re feeding me, clothing me and housing me and you won’t let me do anything to help?” 

“What makes you think we’d put a price on any of that?” 

“It has an effect on how you live your life, Cayde. I get that you guys like to share, but adding another person into the mix can’t be easy.” 

Cayde merely smiles, opens his door, and nudges Shin inside. “There. Done. Wasn’t that simple?” 

“This isn’t funny, Cayde.” 

“Why?” He closes the door, tilting his head at Shin. “Because it seems too good to be true? If that’s the case, then what are your instincts saying?” 

Shin’s gaze drops as he tries to think, his head shaking ever-so slightly. “I don’t know.” 

“Then what _do_ you know?” 

“I know I owe you.” 

Cayde leans against the doorway of the kitchen, one boot crossed over the other. “See, that’s where you’re wrong. You don’t owe us anything.” 

“You saved my life. How can I not owe you?” 

The Exo tilts his head against the frame, sighing heavily as he closes his eyes. “You don’t -” He breaks off, trying to find the right words. “You don’t owe us a damn thing because... you would have been saved a whole lot of suffering if we had found you sooner.” 

Shin sits down onto the couch, his back to Cayde. “I’d have saved myself a lot of suffering if I’d just called. This isn’t on you. Any of you. This mess is on me, and because of that.... Because I was stupid, you owe me nothing.” 

“No one can change the past.” 

“Clearly, you haven’t told yourself that.” 

Cayde huffs out a weak chuckle. “I’m not good at letting things go. Never have been.” 

“Neither am I. I…. I made a mistake. Bought into my own legend as the ‘Lone Gunslinger’. I let myself believe I was too good at my job to need help.” Shin clasps his hands over his knees. “Hypocritical of me, huh? I accused you of rescuing me because I was a legend, and now I’m realizing.... I’m realizing that it was _me_ who fell for it.” 

Before Cayde can answer, the door opens. Shiro and Abnus come in first, Tevis and Kayleigh coming in right behind them. Cayde directs Tevis to the table with the food, the Nightstalker moving over to Shin as soon as he’s unpacked. 

He extends a hand to him. “Name’s Tevis.” 

Shin looks up at him, surprised to find a man who appears so unassuming. Tevis is clearly human. His frame is tall and willowy, his face narrow. He’s blond, a few locks here and there sticking up stubbornly against the rest of the hair. 

“Shin.” 

He smirks, wryness in his expression for a reason Shin can’t fathom. “I know.” His countenance turns apologetic. “I’d have -” 

“You don’t have to apologize for not being there. I know you’d have come if you could.” 

Tevis hesitates before nodding. 

“Come on, guys. While the food is still hot.” Cayde beckons them to the table, pointing Shin to the empty spot between himself and Kayleigh. He opens his carton of food, inhaling the sweet scent. “Tevis, you’re the man.” 

“You’re just happy you’re not paying.” 

Shiro laughs, digging into his meal. “Can’t deny that.” 

Shin opens his box, trying not to drool at the table because it smells so good. Still, he glances down at the chopsticks next to his hand with trepidation. He’s only ever seen people use them, and it seems like everyone at this table except him is more than adept at it. 

“Shin?” 

He glances at Kayleigh, wondering if he missed someone talking to him. “Huh?” 

“Do you need help with the chopsticks? Cayde has forks around here somewhere if you’d prefer to use one instead. I wouldn’t blame you.” 

“No, I’d.... I’ll try it first.” 

Abnus glances at Shiro with a smug expression as Kayleigh starts to teach him the tricks of the trade. Only reason Shin catches it at all is because it’s one known universally as the ‘You owe me glimmer’ face. 

He doesn’t know exactly how he feels about that. 

Tevis glances up from his food, opening his mouth to say something and stopping short. His eyes flick away when he catches Shin watching. It takes Shin only a few seconds to understand why. 

Shin’s chest squeezes with panic. 

He bolts to the bathroom, only just closing the door before he has to drop down in front of the toilet. Shin coughs, wiping his mouth as his stomach churns. He whines, laying down on the cold linoleum and curling up as small as he can. Archer quietly appears, asking if there’s anything he can do. He touches Shin’s shoulder, chirping softly to him. 

There’s a knock at the door. 

No one ever knocked. 

“Shin?” Kayleigh asks. 

“M’ fine.” Shin manages, the words a weak croak that even he wouldn’t believe. 

“Can I come in?” 

No one ever asked. 

Shin makes a low and noncommittal noise in his throat, hating the way his eyes are starting to burn with heat again. _Traveler_ , he must look pitiful. 

Kayleigh comes in, staying where Shin can see her. She crouches, tugging his hood back so she can see his face. “Will you look at me?” 

He squeezes his eyes shut, turning his face more towards the tile. Tears begin to trail down his cheek and the bridge of his nose. Kayleigh wipes at his face, shushing him softly. It’s slow, but she patiently waits for him to uncurl enough to join her in the corner of the room. He’s pale and cold from throwing up, but she doesn’t seem to mind, simply holding him. 

“You okay?” 

Shin nods, a lie he tells to stop himself from breaking. He aches to tell her what’s wrong, but he doesn’t want to find out that he’s right. Different house. Different family. Still just a placeholder for someone who isn’t there. 

Kayleigh strokes his hair, hushing him. “It’s okay, sweetheart.” 

Shin shakes his head. “ _No.”_

The others are listening. He knows they are. They want to know what’s wrong, and they want to know what they can do. What he’s thinking now makes a horrible amount of sense, as if the world itself has dedicated time to make his life awful. 

“Can you tell me what’s wrong?” 

Shin lets to tension flow out of him, his head dropping back against Kayleigh’s chest. She makes a concerned noise, pressing a kiss into his hair. He can’t bring himself not to welcome it. 

He doesn’t know it, but Kayleigh’s heart shatters as a sharp noise leaves him – a sob broken off too soon. 

It takes everything he has to speak. “ _I’m not him.”_

The Warlock takes a few moments to think about those words, rolling them around in her mind to figure out what he means. Thinking back to the table, she wonders what could have brought this on. It dawns on her as he repeats the words in a broken whisper. 

“ _I’m not him.”_

“We’re not asking you to be.” She lowers her voice to a murmur, her lips next to his ear so only he hears. Shin listens as she explains that they miss Andal. Thinking about him is something they can’t help any more than he can, but none of them are expecting him to be more than Shin Malphur. 

A pathetic whine leaves his throat. He’s desperate to believe her. Desperate to _trust_ her. 

He’s never wanted to trust someone so badly in his life, his mind always on the hunt for lies or sarcasm. It’s a defense mechanism, and one he’s never hated more than now. 

“You’re okay, sweetheart.” 

_Traveler_ , when was the last time someone called him that? 

Shin doesn’t understand why it takes so little for her to tear him open, his entire sense of stability in Kayleigh’s steady hands. She knows exactly what to do, but it terrifies Shin that she could crush him right here and now. She could whisper in his ear again, but this time she’d tell him his dark thoughts were true. 

_Oh, Traveler. What if this is all just a_ _nightmare?_

Nightmare or no, it doesn’t look like Kayleigh is going to hurt him, the Warlock in question still stroking his hair to help him feel better. Shin soaks in her gentle attention, relaxing a little in her arms. He isn’t sure what about her makes him feel so safe, but she does. He hadn’t even met her before this morning, but he allowed her to hold him. 

She didn’t even hesitate. 

“Want to get some air?” 

Shin lets out a slow and shaky breath, nodding quietly. Kayleigh helps him to his feet, gently guiding the recovering Hunter to the front door. 

Cayde meets his eyes. “Everything okay?” 

Shin doesn’t answer, so his gaze moves to Kayleigh. Whatever he sees there must confirm something for him since he waves to the pair of them as they leave. He sneaks a glance at Tevis, noting the scraggly Hunter looks guilty. Abnus and Shiro are watching them go, sympathy in their eyes. How an Exo conveys sympathy, Shin doesn’t know, but Shiro can do it. 

"So.... You probably don’t want me to call you Shin in public. Got something you’d prefer?” 

“I’m not the only person in the world named Shin, Kayleigh.” 

He definitely doesn’t mention that he enjoys hearing his name again. It’s been years since he’s been acknowledged in social circles, and it’s kind of nice. 

“In the Hunter world, you pretty much are. If you want to stay low-profile -” 

“It’s okay. I just....” Shin pauses, not sure how to phrase his words and not sound damaged. 

Kayleigh reaches a hand out to him, her fingers just barely touching his arm before pulling away. “Just what?” 

The Hunter paces around, moving to a nearby railing and leaning on it. Shin doesn’t want to see her look at him with pity, and he doesn’t want to break down again. He eventually decides Kayleigh won’t judge him for it even if he does. “I don’t.... I _can’t_ be anyone else. I just want to be me.” He turns to face her, looking down into those almost ethereal eyes. “I don’t think I could take it right now.” 

She offers him her hand. “Then you won’t have to.” 

Cautiously, he slides his hand into hers. She gives his fingers a gentle squeeze, pulling him away from the railing and down into the city below. The people look at them weird, and he’s having a hard time figuring out why until he realizes it’s their joined hands and her presence with a strange Hunter. 

“Kayleigh, people are staring.” 

She shrugs. “So?” 

“They know you, and it’s impossible for them not to like you, but I think they think I’m a little bit... shady. They don’t seem to be a fan of a new face around here.” 

Kayleigh pauses, considering his statement for a little bit. She recalls he doesn’t like to draw attention. “Too many people?” 

“Something like that.” 

“Well, soon we’ll be out of the residential area and then we can ignore their existence. We’re heading out to the wall where the view is good.” 

Shin glances at their hands and back to the people. “You aren’t concerned they’ll spread rumors?” 

“About?” 

Traveler, she is a genius, but she’s so oblivious. 

He saves his answer to her question until they’re out of sight of any humans. He doesn’t want to spread rumors around more than he already is. 

“You’re telling me you’ve saved the universe how many times now and you don’t realize holding hands in a public place usually means something? I’m never in social settings and I know that.” 

She snickers. “Would that be so bad?” 

Okay, so maybe not so oblivious. 

Answering her question is also a trap of some sort. He’s about eighty percent certain of it, and the last twenty percent is the certainty he should be more wary of said trap than he is. “No. No, I suppose it wouldn’t. But you could be a little bit more cautious. If I turned out to be bad news, everyone would start wondering about you.” 

“Aww. Look at you concerned over me. It’s sweet of you, but I can take care of myself, you know.” 

“I’m well aware. You have quite the reputation for being the right hand of the Vanguard. Not really my style, of course, but.... Well, when your supposed ‘style’ is killing Guardians, people tend not to like you very much.” 

“Dirty Guardians.” 

“The separation doesn’t seem to make a difference in opinion, especially to other Guardians. Even some of the clean ones I’ve met are scared.” 

Kayleigh rolls her eyes, laughing. “Luckily for you, our motley crew isn’t scared of the big bad wolf.” 

“You’re too brave for your own good.” 

She shakes her head, pointing him to a little hole in the wall. “Just brave enough, I’ve found. Come on, there’s another hole about 112 feet up. The last few feet can be jumped to get to the top.” 

Shin stares up into the support beams, wondering if the people know just how hollow a promise the wall is. They live near it, so he would assume so, but people always like to pretend they’re safe until the situation either resolves itself or proves them wrong. 

“You’re sure we have to climb?” 

Kayleigh looks to him, smirking. “What? Scared of heights now? I bet you five-k in glimmer that I beat you to the top.” 

The Hunter blinks. “I thought you Warlocks were supposed to be boring.” 

“When one runs with Hunters, make like the Hunters do.” 

“Oh, yeah? And how many times out of ten do you lose when making like a Hunter?” 

Kayleigh lightly shoves him. “I don’t lose. You don’t ever tell Abnus or Shiro, but counting cards is easy when you think about it a little.” 

“So, telling Cayde and Tevis is fine?” 

“Oh, please. Who do you think taught me?” 

Shin stares up into the dark area again. “I don’t know. Are you sure your glide is fast enough to keep up with me? Five-k glimmer is a lot to bet on a fifty-fifty chance, and I’d sure hate to make you break your winning streak. Even if you did cheat.” 

“Guess we’ll find out. And I never said I cheat, just that I knew how.” 

“Sure, sure.” 

As soon as she says go, Shin is off like a shot. Kayleigh stays right on his heels, but he’s not sure how. He thinks to check her boots for all of a moment before remembering she’ll pass him if he gives her a chance. 

In the end, he has a lot more stamina than she does. He’s used to having to make long climbs without stopping, and even though he’d bet she is too, the glide just wasn’t enough. 

He has a feeling she’d kill him if he’d let her win anyway. 

Kayleigh smiles, tired but pleased. “I almost had you and you know it.” 

“Whatever... makes you feel better.” Shin pants, his chest uncomfortably tight. He coughs, leaning over. He drops down to his knees, swallowing. “Kayleigh -” 

She starts tugging his armor free, unbuckling clasps and lifting his chest piece over his head. “Come on, Shin. Just breathe for me. It’s just the lack of exercise, that’s all.” 

“Mhmm.” 

The Warlock rubs his back, coaxing him onto his stomach. Dread bleeds over him and he waits for a knee on his spine and a pinprick in his neck. It never comes, Kayleigh sitting just next to him as she lifts his shirt a bit to massage his back. He’s about to warn her things could get a little rocky when she reaches a sweet spot. Shin hums lazily, letting her have her way just this once. 

Shin gazes out over the edge of the wall, the sun perched above the horizon. Had it really taken them that long to wander through the city? 

Not that he minds, but still. 

He doesn’t think it’ll happen, but he’s tempted to tell her to stop in case anyone finds them. The last thing Shin wants to do is cause any problems for her. Fortunately, he’s in too much bliss to complain. He’s never had anyone do this for him, and he most certainly didn’t think he’d enjoy it this much if he had. 

“Not to make this awkward, but you’re practically purring.” 

Shin doesn’t even care, his response almost a sleepy murmur. “Feels good.” 

As she carefully kneads his back, he wonders at her halved nature. On the one hand, she is a terrifying force of destruction, not to be reckoned with on pain of death. From what he’s heard, many have likened her to a hurricane. On the other hand, she’s as gentle as the wind on a good sniper’s perch, her presence drifting over his skin with a soft and feathery touch. 

“Mmph. You’re really good at this.” 

Kayleigh laughs. “I’ve had plenty of practice, but I tend to reserve it for my good friends. Cayde gets all kind of knotted up leaning over a table all day with nothing to do.” 

“.... He’s an Exo.” 

“They have skin and muscles, too. The inner parts may be metal or whatever, but his synthetic tissues are almost exactly like the real thing.” She smiles behind his back – evilly, if he’s not mistaken. “You should see the way Shiro is built. Really thick and muscly in the shoulders.” 

“Please, don’t. I don’t need to know.” 

“And Tevis? What a scrap. If I didn’t know better, I’d say there wasn’t an ounce of meat on his bones, but his _back_ -” 

Shin props himself up on an elbow, glaring up at her. “You’re trying really hard to make me uncomfortable, aren’t you?” 

The look she shoots him is all too innocent. “Me?” 

Shin groans, sighing a little bit as she continues her work. Kayleigh doesn’t make further attempts, so he figures she just couldn’t help but tease him a little. He’s not used to it, but he supposes it could be worse. She could be trying to kill him. 

He’d hate to have to use The Last Word on her or any of the others for killing blows. 

As if sensing his thoughts, she places a hand at the back of his head. Her tone is low as she leans closer to his ear. “You’ll never have to worry about us hurting you without provocation, but rest assured, if you come after one of us without a damn good reason, I will rain hell down on your head.” 

Shin actually shivers, the chill of her threat crawling down his spine. He’s been threatened before, but never with such calm conviction. Somehow, he knows a fight with Kayleigh is a fight he wouldn’t win. 

Kayleigh circles her nails through his hair, a small huff of laughter brushing his neck. “But I don’t think we’ll have to worry about that. Will we?” 

Shin really does _not_ want to mention to her that the reassurance is scarier than the actual threat. Or worse, that he finds it attractive. “No.” 

“Good.” 

Kayleigh starts on his back again, humming as she works now. Shin relaxes again, simply enjoying her company now that he’s certain she’s made her point. She is Awoken, so it wouldn’t be a shock if she really had read his mind. It would explain why she felt the need to both assure and threaten him at the same time. 

He’s not going to fault her for being protective. If he were in her position, he’d have done the same. 

“You let me know when you’re ready to go back.” 

“I’m ready when you are. I’m just enjoying this too much to move.” 

Kayleigh laughs quietly. “Oh, Hunters. On the outside, you’re all intense and mysterious, but once you get past those walls, you’re all like cats.” 

Shin puffs out a breath as she moves to the small of his back. “Cats, huh?” 

“You know, warm, cuddly, sweet. Of course, only the good ones are like that. The rest are kind of feral.” 

The Hunter squeaks a little as she finds a sensitive spot, silently begging her not to mess with him. He’s never been tickled in his life, and he’s not about to start now. 

She smiles behind his back, moving on without a word. 

For a moment, her hands pause. Shin wonders why until she finally presses her light fingers to where he was stabbed. He tenses at first, wincing out of habit more than anything else. 

“Does it hurt?” 

He rocks a little, shaking his head. “No.” 

“Just hold still.” 

Kayleigh puts a gentle pressure on the area, working like she was earlier, but with a caution that wasn’t there before. It takes Shin a few minutes, but he finally notices the tension bleeding out of the area. He lightly dozes, listening to Kayleigh hum behind his back while he basks in his first real moment of peace in years. 

Shin is fully aware of the low rumble that leaves him as she moves to the small of his back again. 

“Yep. You’re just like a cat.” 

The Hunter sighs. “At this point, that’s not going to stop me.” 

“You really haven’t had anyone do this for you, have you? I mean, a lot of Guardians haven’t, I’d bet, but still.... Must be stressful being so tense all the time.” 

Shin shrugs as well as he can, his eyes still closed. “Don’t want people in my blind spot.” 

Kayleigh’s hands slow. “Does that make this difficult for you? I mean, obviously you’re enjoying it, but that doesn’t mean it’s not hard.” 

“No.” Shin murmurs. “It’s not hard.” 

“Long as you’re sure.” 

Shin hums in his throat. “I’m sure. I trust you, Kayleigh.” 

“Aww.” 

He and Kayleigh share a quiet laugh, Kayleigh tugging his shirt back into position. Shin rolls over, making a small noise of confusion as Kayleigh lays down with her head on his stomach. It doesn’t take him long to decide he likes the weight there, but he’s not going to say anything about it. 

She shifts onto her side, curling up and closing her eyes. _Traveler_ , she even settles in like a Hunter. 

Shin stares up at the darkening sky, moving his right hand to rest on Kayleigh’s head and his other to his chest. She nestles closer, her heat spreading through his shirt. 

“Shin?” 

He hums in response. 

“For what it’s worth, we trust you, too.” 

Shin smiles. “Cayde may not think so, but I owe you guys everything. That on its own should earn you the benefit of any doubt I might have.” 

Kayleigh pokes at his side, snickering as Shin twitches. “No, you really don’t. Not everything comes at a cost.” 

“That hasn’t been my experience.” 

“Depending on how long you hang around, you’ll find out we take care of each other more than the average group. It’s more like... siblings. Children, sometimes, but other than that, we’re like siblings.” 

“I’ve noticed that already, and it’s only been a day since I’ve been here.” 

Kayleigh smiles. “You’re lucky. We actually like you.” 

Shin tilts his head to the side, looking at her with warmth in his gaze. “It’s.... It’s been a long time since I’ve been around someone enough to be liked.” 

They let those words sink into the silence, the companionship between them comforting. 

“Can I tell you something?” 

Kayleigh shifts, pushing herself up on an elbow to look at him. Shin sits up. 

“I’ve never actually held a cat.” 

The Warlock appears scandalized, taking his hand and pulling him up. She helps him into his armor, securing one of his bracers as he uses his free hand to strap into his chest piece. Kayleigh gets the opposite one done up nice and snug. 

Determination is in her glowing eyes as she looks up at him. “You’re petting a cat tonight.” 

Shin laughs, stepping towards the edge of the wall. “Yes, ma’am.” 

He leaps, plummeting towards the ground with Kayleigh right behind him. Shin avoids death with a couple of agile hops and Kayleigh glides to a stop. She offers him her hand, grinning as he takes it. The pair of them wander the streets back into the residential district, Kayleigh knocking on a door when she finds the one she’s looking for. 

A child (in Shin’s eyes) answers the door, her skin dark like chocolate and her hair pinned back in a thick ponytail. She can’t be more than sixteen. “Kayleigh?” 

“Hey, Angie. Can I ask you a favor real quick?” 

She leans against the door frame, looking Shin over. “Who’s this?” 

“This is my friend Shin.” 

Angie lifts a brow, smirking a bit as she tilts her head to the side. Shin isn’t sure what to expect from her, but he’s willing to bet it’s a little attitude. She glances at their joined hands. “Pretty boy your boyfriend?” 

Shin shoots Kayleigh a look. “Told you so.” 

Kayleigh rolls her eyes, smiling at Angie. “No. He’s a bit new to civilization at the moment, and I’ve just been informed that he’s never had the opportunity to hold a cat.” 

“Okay. I’ll go get Seysha. Come on in.” 

Shin hesitates. “Um.... Wouldn’t your parents have an issue with strangers in the house?” 

She shrugs, opening the door to them so they can come in. “They might if they were alive. As it is, if Kayleigh’s bringing you by, you can’t be that bad.” 

Kayleigh directs Shin to the couch, pointing out Angie in the far room as she picks up her cat. His first thought about it even from afar is that it looks soft. Angie carries Seysha to Shin, dropping her into Shin’s lap with a smile. 

“Here you go. She’s patient, but be nice to her.” 

Shin isn’t even sure what to do with her, blinking at the fluffy blob. The thick-furred black cat sits down on his knees, looking up at him with green eyes and meowing. Impatient, she paws at one of his hands, encouraging him to pet her. 

With the greatest of caution, he puts a hand on her head. Seysha immediately presses against his fingers, moving closer until his hand is on her arched back. When he lifts his hand, she stretches taller to maintain contact. Shin strokes the cat’s fur from head to tail-tip, a deep and rumbling purr coming from Seysha’s chest. 

Shin glances at Kayleigh. “I see your point.” 

She smiles, giving Shin’s shoulder a squeeze as she gets up. Kayleigh takes Angie into the kitchen, taking a cup of tea when the girl offers it to her. “Thanks.” 

Angie hops up on the kitchen table, sipping her tea with a smile. Her tone is low and secretive. “So, if he’s not your boyfriend, then who is he? Never known you to hang around strangers.” 

Kayleigh shrugs, leaning on the same table a couple feet down. Kayleigh’s tone is an attempt to be subtle. “He’s had a rough last few weeks.” 

“Rough, like how?” 

“Nothing someone your age should be worrying over. We’re just helping him with the fallout.” 

Angie hums. “Sound like it was something pretty serious. It wasn’t anything too close to the city, was it? I’ve heard of a few weird things, but nothing really involving Guardians.” 

Kayleigh hums. “Wouldn’t you just like to know. I already told you that it’s not for you to worry about, and I promise you Shin won’t be pleased if you ask him about it.” Angie opens her mouth to argue. “I understand you’re curious, but our lives are dangerous, and sometimes things happen that we can’t share. Promise me you won’t pry, and promise me you’re not going to tell people he’s here. He’s trying to keep a low profile.” 

“Fine, I promise.” 

Kayleigh sighs. “Thank you.” 

The young girl kicks her legs against the cupboard doors, making a face. “It was something pretty bad, wasn’t it?” 

The Warlock hums, straightening and gripping Angie’s hand in hers. “Shiro is going to be by tomorrow with supplies. Tell him everything you need for the next time.” 

Angie doesn’t mention the abrupt change in subject, merely nodding. “I will. You and the others take care of pretty boy.” 

“If he’ll let us. I’ll see you soon.” 

Kayleigh leaves the kitchen, smiling at Shin as she sees him snuggling Seysha to his chest. He looks up when she approaches, his expression soft. 

“Ready to go?” he asks. 

“You can stay as long as you’d like.” 

Shin stands up, the cat in his arms in a way that ensures all of her feet are supported. A hunter knows another hunter. “I think I’m good.” He moves over to Angie and hands Seysha over. “Thank you for letting me borrow your cat.” 

“No problem. You two have fun.” 

The Hunter seems confused by her words, but Kayleigh simply makes an exasperated noise and pulls him from the house. “Don’t mind her. She’s young, but she loves gossip as much as any old lady.” 

“You don’t think she’ll....” 

“No. I asked her not to say anything about you while we were in the kitchen.” 

It doesn’t take a genius to know Shin is a little nervous at the prospect of someone being able to spread his name around. A lot of people looking to find him would be thrilled by the news that he’s in the Tower somewhere. Just what he needs is to have people gunning for him. The Shadows mean serious business when it comes to Shin, and he’d much rather not have to watch his back. He’s certain the pack in Cayde’s quarters would have his back, but he doesn’t want them in the crossfire. For now, he’s safe, and he wants to keep it that way. 

Having an unknown face is his most powerful asset aside from The Last Word. 

“So, feeling better?” 

Shin looks to her, nodding. “I needed this, whether I really knew it or not. I don’t really take time to slow down, especially when I’m tracking someone.” 

Kayleigh voices a noise of agreement, giving Shin’s hand a comforting squeeze. He appreciates that she’s not afraid to get close. Of course, he’d be willing to bet the reassurance is why she keeps doing it. Shin is caught in the pack’s web and he doesn’t even mind. 

It’s impossible not to be enchanted by the group after seeing the “guest room”, their closeness worthy of envy. Then again, Shin isn’t exactly envious because the group is determined to adopt him. It’s hard to believe their hospitality is anything other than a tribute to his legend, but they tend not to mention it at all. The only reason Cayde said anything about it earlier was to make a point. 

His skepticism will have to take a back seat for a while. 

Shin can’t help but notice a lot of people milling about despite the later hour. He figured all the civilians would be out closer to noon, but they apparently like dusk hours. 

Kayleigh tugs a comm unit from her pocket, putting it to her ear. “Yeah?” 

Shin is patient as she takes the call, still treading through the street. 

“Okay, sure. I’ll see what he thinks. I’ll let you know.” 

The Hunter’s brow raises. “What’s up?” 

“Oh, Shiro and Tevis are in a bar nearby. They tend to be fans of late-night drinking and nursing hangovers. I have no idea why, but it’s the way they like to do it. Cayde says it’s probably about the challenge of scouting in the morning when your vision is blurry and bets they shouldn’t make but do.” She pauses, making a bit of a face before smiling at him. “We can go if you want.” 

“I.... I mean, if you want to go.” 

Kayleigh clicks her tongue, biting her lip for a second. “Come on. We can show up for a few minutes anyway. No one is going to force us to stick around.” 

Shin allows her to lead him along, humoring her since he knows she wants to go. It’s not something he really considered even after seeing all the pictures, but hanging out in bars seems to be a pastime of theirs. If Cayde weren’t most likely back at work, he’d probably be here as well. 

“So..., where is Abnus, anyway?” 

“Right now? Uhh, I’d guess crucible. He likes to play in the dark. Usually Tevis would join him since his eyesight is better, but he gets a kick out of sneak-attacks.” 

“Well, that’s kind of a Hunter for you.” 

“Of course, when we play, we work well no matter what we’re doing. Clash, Supremacy, Control. It doesn’t really matter what. You should see the look on the other Guardians’ faces when they see us coming.” 

Shin grimaces. “I do hope you realize I don’t know what any of those are.” 

Kayleigh’s expression turns to surprise, realization dawning in her expression. She apologizes for the oversight, Shin waving her off as she starts to explain what crucible is all about. He listens with avid attention, a little confused as to why Guardians kill each other to blow off steam. They get rewarded for it, as if life and death are a game. Shin can’t help but find it a little tasteless, but Kayleigh is sure to tell him Shaxx takes the rules for each game very seriously. They make sure no one gets permanently hurt, and it’s just a way for Guardians to learn the finer details of their weapons. 

Shin doubts he’d want to play if Kayleigh didn’t at least make Clash sound like fun. 

They arrive at the bar. 

Shiro and Tevis are in the booth in the far corner of the room. It’s kind of shady, just the way a good Hunter likes it. To his surprise, there’s a blonde human with them, her arm tattooed with wide stripes. 

Tevis perks up when he sees them. “Hey, you guys made it.” He lifts a glass of what looks like tequila. “We were starting to wonder if you were ever going to answer.” 

Kayleigh slides into the booth, letting Shin sit on the end. 

The blonde reaches her arm across the table, being careful not to spill the bottle of whiskey on the table. By the looks of it, she and Shiro have been sharing the bottle awhile now. “Name’s Amanda. I’m the shipwright down in the hangar. I saw you hangin’ ‘round Cayde when he was doin’ paperwork.” 

“I was just lending a hand. He had a lot of work to do. Far as I’m concerned, it’s not near enough as he’s owed, but he won’t hear it.” 

“Oh, yeah? What’d he do for ya’?” 

Shin accepts a glass of whiskey from Shiro, gratitude in his expression for not telling her anything. Shiro offers him a subtle nod. “I got myself into some trouble and he pulled my ass out of the fire.” 

Amanda rolls those words around a little, lifting a brow. “Ah, I see. You’re the reason Cayde went AWOL on us for a couple weeks.” 

Tevis nudges her shoulder. “We’d prefer to keep that quiet. Zavala doesn’t need to be hearing about it.” 

“Oh? You got a target on your back?” 

Shin chuckles weakly. “Something like that. Someone even breathes my name wrong and I’ll be on the run again. Only the pack knows as far as I’ve been told.” 

Amanda narrows her eyes at him, but she doesn’t ask. 

A few Ghosts float about the place, squeaking and beeping to each other as they wander. Shin watches them with curiosity in his gaze, amusement sparking in him as their Guardians call them back. If there’s one thing Guardians strive to protect the most in their lives, it’s their Ghosts. Due to his chosen path, Shin is well aware of the extreme measures some will go to in order to keep the little Lights alive. 

Then again, some Ghosts are more trouble than they’re worth, tricking and back-stabbing for no other reason than that they can. Shin knows of some once-Guardians who did the same, killing their Ghosts just to see what would happen. Sometimes, he really wishes he didn’t have experience with those kinds of people. 

“Shin.” 

He gives himself a shake. “Yeah, yeah. I’m here.” 

Kayleigh looks concerned. “You okay? You seem a little... off.” 

“Nothing to worry about, Kayleigh. Just thinking in-my-head stuff.” 

He can tell the words aren’t much of a reassurance to her, the Warlock sliding her hand into his under the table. It’s a good reminder to him, since at times it’s hard to remember there are good people in the world. His recent experience most certainly didn’t help his view. 

Shin mouths a thank-you to her, her acknowledgement of his gratitude tapped out in Morse code on his palm. She has her attention turned back to Tevis as he tells a story, one Kayleigh has heard many times judging by her nodding. Shin, on the other hand, finds himself invested in the tale. It comes as no surprise to Shin that the Void Hunter can set the scene of a situation with little effort. 

It’s something he barely notices, but Tevis’s hands do, in fact, shake. 

Kayleigh finishes her drink and then bids the boys and Amanda goodnight. Shin can’t help but wonder if she’s leaving early because she’s ready to go home or because of him. 

“Come on, S. We’re going to clock out for tonight.” 

The Warlock leads him towards the bar, dropping a healthy glimmer tip on it and asking the frame running the place to cut the others off at midnight. The frame accepts the amount, wishing Kayleigh well and moving down the bar to take another order. 

The trip back to Cayde’s quarters doesn’t take long. Kayleigh opens the door and wanders in, greeting Cayde where he’s cooking ramen in the microwave. 

“Hey.” 

“Hey, you two. Have a good time? We were startin’ to get worried when Zavala called me back to work. Didn’t have time to check in with you.” 

Kayleigh hops up on the table next to Cayde, lightly kicking him in the knees with a smile. “As far as I know, we had a good time. Had a good view, a little alcohol, and Shin got to pet a cat. I think he’s feeling more like himself.” 

Shin nods. “Yeah. I’m.... I’m feeling a bit better. I didn’t mean to worry anyone.” 

“You do what you gotta do. No one’s gonna judge you for that.” 

Kayleigh wanders into the spare room, leaving the door open a crack. Shin’s eyes stare into the space with trepidation. He isn’t quite sure why, but the room seems daunting. He glances back at Cayde, the Exo’s brow plate lifting inquisitively. He smiles, gesturing for Shin to follow her. 

The human Hunter opens the door further, stepping up behind Kayleigh where she’s standing in front of the wall of pictures. She tacks one to the wall in a new spot, stepping back and bumping into him. 

“Oh, hi.” 

“Sorry.” 

Kayleigh steps to the side a little, gesturing to the new picture. “What do you think?” 

Shin steps closer and crouches down, just barely touching the edge of the picture with his thumb. It’s a very familiar and recent image. He would know, since he’s in it. “The bar?” 

“Yeah. I have my Ghost take pictures when we hang out. Jake likes to do his due diligence, so I’ve got a couple more to put up.” 

The Hunter watches her, the next two pictures going up and overlapping the corners of the first. One of them is of Kayleigh laying on Shin, both their eyes closed in quiet companionship. The other is of Shin petting the cat at Angie’s house. 

Shin’s hand drops, his gaze traveling up the wall to retrace all the pictures. All of these were taken with a careful and steadfast devotion, and now he’s on this wall too. 

“You’ve been alone a long time, my guess is since Dwindler’s Ridge. Now, you have a chance for friends. Cayde has likely already told you that you should have people to watch your back, but if it didn’t convince you, I thought this might.” She crouches next to him, her hand resting lightly on his shoulder. “You have all of us, whether you leave tomorrow or you stay until you feel solid ground beneath your feet.” 

He runs a hand through his hair, letting go of a shaky breath. Shin tries hard not to break, figuring he’s already fallen to pieces enough for one day. 

“I chose my path.” Shin whispers. “I chose to become a Guardian. Did you know that?” 

“What do you mean?” 

Shin’s smile in response is pained. “My mentor died, the original wielder of Last Word, and Archer came to me. He said I had Light in me and that if I wanted, I could avenge his Guardian.” 

Kayleigh softens on him. He doesn’t know how, but he can tell. 

“That day was the last time I had someone watching my back. Jaren went up to face Yor to protect us.” 

“I know this part.” 

Shin sighs. “Because of that, I’ve made sure not to drag anyone into my war. I decided no one else was going to die because they thought their life was worth less than mine. Ever since Archer became my Ghost, I’ve been wading through blood and tears, and I refused to let anyone bear that weight except me. Now, you five are always right here, tempting fate every moment you stay with me. Cayde is toying with it, and you’re practically daring it to fight you.” 

“I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’ll fight whoever I have to in order to win.” 

“I know you will, and you have no idea how much that scares the hell out of me. None of you deserve to get caught in the crossfire if the Shadows find out I’m here.” 

Kayleigh sits against the frame of the bed when he does, tilting her head onto his shoulder. “There you go again. Always worrying about us.” 

“I’ve spent my whole life as a Guardian alone. How did you think I would handle this?” 

A snicker leaves the Warlock. “Honestly, I figured you’d be belligerent against even staying with Cayde in the first place. I thought the first thing you would do this morning was run. You didn’t know us, and you likely didn’t know if you could trust us, either.” 

“Not at first, no, but then I came in here. Cayde....” Shin huffs. “Cayde offered me this damn room like he didn’t know what it meant, but now I know he knew exactly what he was doing.” 

Kayleigh cranes her neck a little to plant a kiss in his hair, pulling away from him to leave as soon as she does. “He really did.” 

“I don’t know what to say.” 

The Warlock smiles warmly at him, her hand on the door. “Just thank him for the box of tissues.” 

She’s gone before Shin has a chance to respond. Kayleigh says goodbye to Cayde and the door to his quarters opens and closes. Shin stares after her, shock jolting through his frame. 

Shin can’t believe it. Cayde saw how he was this morning, broken and aching for something he didn’t have, and he didn’t treat him any differently. He didn’t say anything to him about it. Archer didn’t say anything. He beckons his little Light and looks at him with confusion. 

Archer croons quietly. “I... thought you knew.” 

“I thought it was you.” 

A breath leaves his chest, the action some semblance of laughter and shock in one. He doesn’t understand why this group slips past his awareness so easily. Cayde does it like he’s breathing, and Kayleigh hangs out inside his proverbial walls like she’s been there her whole life. Shiro and Tevis treat him like an old friend. Abnus.... Well, Shin hasn’t spent enough time around Abnus to know what he thinks. 

Trying to figure out how they’re doing it only serves to make his head hurt. 

He looks to the wall again, peering on in disbelief at the knowledge he’s included in this. Sure, The Last Word on the bedpost behind him reminds him of the comfort the room offers, but the photos are inclusive. The real gun is so intrinsic to him, so bound to his being, he can tell which direction it is when he doesn’t have it. This.... This part of himself on the wall feels like that – a piece he’ll never let go of, no matter how far he gets from it. 

For the first time since arriving, he allows himself to claim the supposed guestroom. 

******* 

It’s been a week. 

Shin is surprised by the amount of time, mostly because he thought he’d be ready to leave by now. There is a part of him that says he’s stayed too long, but he finds it all too easy to ignore the little voice. The people in the residential areas have started looking at him with less and less apprehension. Tevis was with him last time, his presence steady. 

Today, he’s with Abnus in the Crucible. If there’s one thing he appears to enjoy more than taking bounties and hunting, it’s an unpredictable opponent, which makes other Guardians perfect practice. 

Shin tries to tone down his skill, but it’s difficult. He fights for his life, and that’s all he has. 

One thing he _has_ decided is that he hates Control. Some of the zones have no places to take cover, and some of them have too much. There doesn’t appear to be an in-between when in the heat of the moment. Shin has taken to crossing in and out of a zone to stay alive, capturing a longer process, but safer. 

Shaxx is constantly shouting over comms, calling out notable plays and laughing when things explode. He does take a particular interest in Shin because he’s completely lacking in the death department. It’s strange to him to be putting bullets in Guardians with The Last Word and not having the previous breath be their last. It’s strange to be treating their calling like a game. 

Seven matches of crucible later, and the results are all the same. 

Many Guardians have attempted more extreme methods of taking him out, Truth rockets and Play of the Games out in full force. Every projectile is expertly shot out of the air, never reaching the intended target. He watches his own back with ease, even with Abnus by his side. Abnus is a little on the brash side, the occasional death peppering his record due to recklessness or premature movement. 

Thankfully, it’s not uncommon to see Gunslinger Hunters, so he can use his super without arousing suspicion. The hard part is remembering he’s not fighting the Shadows anymore. He doesn’t need to get the Ghosts, too. 

Abnus can tell he’s getting shaky and paranoid the more Guardians team up to catch him off-guard, his body language less relaxed and his attention constantly shifting. 

A Thorn shot flies by his head, the antsy Hunter leaping for cover. Two more shots hit the wall above his head, Shin’s heartbeat and breath quickening with panic. The feeling that he’s being watched creeps over his skin. 

Abnus lays down cover fire, giving him a few moments to get his bearings. “It’s okay, buddy. It’s just Crucible.” 

Shin gives himself a shake, nodding silently. The words do little for him. He takes out a group of three with his golden gun, sinking down against a wall. _Traveler_ , what if they’re watching him right now? He knows better than to think it’s the real Thorn. He does, but the Shadows are everywhere, even here. “Abnus, I- I have to get out. They’re everywhere. I have t-to go.” 

Abnus radios up to Shaxx, asking him to stop the match. He knows the risks if he allows other Guardians to close in, and he’s not about to let someone get hurt. The Titan is confused, but he does as he’s asked, disappointed Guardians transmatting away without having caught their quarry. 

“It’s okay. It’s over.” 

The Gunslinger takes a few minutes just to breathe, pulling one knee up to his chest so he can rest his head. 

“Guardian?” 

His head snaps up and The Last Word flares with solar energy, threatening to end whoever is at barrel’s end. He’s not playing around anymore. 

A Titan lifts his hands in defense. “Easy. I’ve no intention of harming you. I’m Lord Shaxx.” 

Shin decompresses, his weapon dropping from his hand as he gulps in air. Abnus crouches next to him, quietly telling him everything is all right. Shin carefully tugs his helmet off, allowing himself more room to breathe. 

Shaxx stoops to pick up Shin’s gun, his silence deafening as he examines it. “This... certainly explains a few things.” 

Abnus looks up at him. “You can’t tell anyone.” 

Shaxx crouches next to Abnus, likely an attempt to make himself seem less intimidating. “I can’t help being curious as to why you’re here at all. You haven’t set foot in the Tower since -” 

“I know.” 

“Can I ask what’s wrong?” 

Shin tilts his head back against the wall, panting. He wipes his forehead with his sleeve. “Mm. There was.... There was a Thorn. It’s, uh.... It’s been a long few weeks, and just what I needed was _that_ thrown in my face.” 

“Not _the_ Thorn, I presume?” 

The Gunslinger shakes his head. “Hell no. I broke that damn thing down ages ago.” 

Shaxx offers him his weapon, the Hunter taking it with a shaking hand. He holsters it, a calming breath leaving his mouth as the action allows him to accept that the threat has gone. 

“You good, pal?” 

“Yeah, I- I think so. Help me up?” 

Abnus offers him a hand, pulling Shin to his feet with a grunt. “I don’t know about you, but I could really go for a trip to the Cosmodrome right now.” 

“The Cosmodrome?” Shin inquires. 

Shaxx glances between the pair of them, knowing his presence is no longer necessary. “I do believe I’ve other matches to tend to. I’ll leave you two to whatever mischief you plan to get into next.” 

The pair of Hunters watch him transmat out, Shin glancing back at Abnus in confusion. “So? Why the Cosmodrome?” 

“I’m in the mood to find some loot. If we can sneak into a Fallen hideout, we might find something exciting.” 

*******

By exciting, Abnus meant a horde of Fallen captains guarding a cache of silver so large, they could feed the City with it. It has to be up to Shin’s shoulders. He hasn’t measured, but it has to be. 

Shin stares at it. 

Abnus kneels next to the pile, scooping up a handful before pushing his arms into it. “ _It’s beautiful.”_

“That’s putting it mildly.” Shin breathes. 

Shin may not be around people much, but he’s still a Hunter. He’s no stranger to currency, and this.... This could set anyone for life. 

He makes a face. “What do we do with it?” 

“Split it?” 

“If we’re splitting this, then we’re splitting it with the pack.” 

Abnus nods, having his Ghost, Saber, sort the silver into six portions. Each pile has more than enough to keep a Hunter happy for a few years. Cayde should be able to pay off his debts, which Shin has no idea why he has. He’s learned the Exo has a bit of a reputation for being a good gambler, so the outstanding debt doesn’t make sense. He’s also learned not to question it. 

“What do you think?” 

Shin looks at the amounts, wondering what he’s ever going to do with that much silver. He wants it. He just doesn’t know what he’ll spend it on. Shin doesn’t really need anything. 

“Looks good. I’ll hang onto Kayleigh and Cayde’s shares and you can take the other two’s. We can divvy them back out later.” 

Abnus nods. Some people might be suspicious of Hunters holding onto money for other people, but Shin has seen how the pack operates. It doesn’t matter if it’s food or money, they like to share responsibility whenever possible. 

It makes it easy for Shin to stay. 

The solace makes it that much more difficult for him to think about leaving. 

******* 

Cayde blatantly stares at the pile of silver on the table in his living room. “I don’t mean to be ungrateful, but what did you two do?” 

Shin shrugs and Abnus appears all too pleased with himself. 

“All right, fine. Don’t tell me. Sundance, take that before they have second thoughts, and, uh... page the others to come get their stuff.” 

******* 

Shin enters the marketplace with caution. He hasn’t done much in the way of food shopping, always having killed his own food while on the hunt. He’s two weeks into his stay in the Tower, and he’s learned a lot about the structure of the city. Watching Kayleigh do things is the only reason he dares attempt the market in the first place. 

It’s full at the moment, almost as if the area itself is daring him to give up. 

He steps into the open just to spite the urge. 

He spends a few minutes deciding where to shop and what food to get. It’s not as if he doesn’t have the funds for expensive food if he so chooses, but he also doesn’t want to overdo it. If Cayde finds out he’s scrounging around, he might not be too happy. Shin still can’t help but feel he owes them, and if he has to be sneaky about it, he’s going to be. As stubborn as Cayde is, if it’s down to a battle of wills, Shin is quite certain he’d win. 

Shin is about to purchase some fruit when he feels eyes on his back. 

His gaze shifts around, the vendor looking confused at his sudden caution. Shin hands the man a few pieces of silver, moving away from him even when the man tells him he overpaid. Shin doesn’t care, telling him to keep it in a distracted tone. 

He walks around, as if searching for something specific while he keeps an eyes out for whoever’s watching. By the crawling at the back of his head, he’d say at least three people. 

Shin tugs out his comm unit, making his way to a skinny alley and putting his groceries down in a crate. “Cayde? You hear me?” 

There’s a clattering noise on the other end of the line, leading Shin to believe he startled the Exo. It would make sense, since Shin hasn’t used the link before. “ _Yeah? What’s up, pal?”_

“I’m in the market on the north side of the city.” He peers around the corner, spotting two Hunters and a Warlock making their way towards him. “The Shadows are here. They know. They know, and they’re coming after me. I have to take the fight away from here.” 

Cayde answers, but Shin pays him no mind, ducking as someone leaps into the alley from above. He pulls a knife, pinning them against the wall in the tiny space. 

“Easy. It’s just me.” 

“Tevis? What the hell are you doing here?” 

He pushes Shin’s blade away from his neck, poking his head out to see how close they are. “I was watching your back. Now get out of here before they see your face. I’ll take care of them.” 

“I’m not running! If they’ve come this far, they already know!” 

Cayde makes a noise from his end. “ _For the Traveler’s sake. Just do as he says!”_

Tevis peeks again, gritting his teeth as he pushes Shin towards the other end of the alley. The other Hunter fights him on it, his greater height and strength making Tevis’s effort futile. 

“I’m sorry about this, buddy.” 

Shin doesn’t have a chance to ask what he’s sorry for before Tevis’s hands fill with Void light. He feels the powerful pull of his tether even without him having shot it, the Void Hunter drawing Shin’s strength from his bones. He picks the Gunslinger up, running out the back way and carrying him to the city wall. 

Voices in the Void whisper at Shin, their tones desperate and hopeless. They grow louder the longer Tevis holds on. 

“We have to get out of the city. We can’t use the Light inside the walls with all these people present, but outside....” He grunts, Shin squirming in an attempt to get away. “Stop fighting me. Once we’re outside the walls, we can take them out!” 

Shin whines as the Void fills his mind, threading itself through him to keep him in place. “ _Let go of me.”_

Tevis makes a sound at his tone, hushing the Hunter and apologizing while he runs. The Void’s grip on him slips away as Tevis releases his unorthodox tether. Shin pants, telling Tevis to let him down. The Void Hunter does as he’s asked, nudging him in the direction of the wall to get him moving. A glance behind them confirms the bad feeling in his chest. They know who he is, and if they aren’t killed, Shin will have to run. For the first time in a long time, he would rather stay. 

They would have their Ghosts transmat them outside, but the move risks the Shadows having to try again at a different time. Neither of them is willing to take that chance. Tevis points out a hole in the wall and Shin moves directly for it. The pair of them leap forward, crawling through it and scrambling down the rubble on the other side. Tevis leads the way to a good hold point, Shin shaking his head and wheeling around to face their pursuers. The Void Hunter scowls, dragging him down as Thorn shots fly over his head. Shin pushes him off, rolling to the side and pulling The Last Word from its holster. By the time he can get a shot off, they’ve disappeared. 

Shin hisses at Tevis. “If you ever do that again, I’ll shoot you.” He stands up, raising his weapon and tugging his hood back. “Come out. I’ll only ask once!” 

The three of them emerge from cover, their weapons trained on Shin with surety. The Warlock growls. “The other Hunter leaves. This is between us.” 

“The other Hunter does _not_ leave.” Tevis answers, pushing himself to his feet. 

The Hunter Shadows step back. “Tevis?” 

“Yeah. If you want him, you have to go through me first, and I don’t think I’d favor your odds. If you’re after him, then you’ve already betrayed us all.” 

“We’re just trying to protect the city with whatever power we can get, and we can’t let you stop us. It’s our purpose.” 

Shin sighs, knowing full well he brought this on himself by creating the Shadows of Yor. “I know it is.” The Last Word curls with solar energy. “And _I’m_ _sorry_ , but you failed.” 

The three of them don’t stand a chance, though one does get a shot off. Shin’s golden gun lays them to waste in only moments. Their Ghosts are the next to go, pulses of Light fleeing their shells and stunning the Gunslinger. Shin has never gotten over the finality of it even if he thought he eventually might. A Guardian doesn’t die. Everyone knows that. 

Everyone except Shin gets to know that. 

Not even those who have lost their Ghosts truly realize it unless someone puts them at barrel’s end or they die of natural causes. 

“Are you all right?” 

Shin turns to Tevis, tilting his head. 

The Void Hunter gestures to his arm, the fabric of his armor ripped. Shin tugs it back. “It’s fine. Just tore my armor a little. I haven’t been shot with Thorn yet, and I really don’t plan to anytime soon.” 

The reassurance puts Tevis at ease. “Good. I’m not quite sure which would be worse. You getting shot, or you getting shot on my watch and Kayleigh hearing about it. It didn’t take her long to get protective over you. Cayde and Abnus, too” 

“Things happen. They wouldn’t be angry. And besides, you were their friend first, meaning you’d probably get the benefit of the doubt.” 

“Probably.” he chuckles. 

As Tevis turns to walk back into the city, a shot from a rifle takes him down. Blood spatters everywhere, coating the front of Shin’s armor as the dead Nightstalker slumps to the ground. He tells Tevis’s Ghost to stay hidden, yelping as another shot hits him in the shoulder. Shin falls onto his back, panting as he rolls over. Another bullet hits the ground in front of him, a warning shot telling him not to move. 

_Not again._ Shin grimaces, moving a hand to check his wound as the shooter uses the comms to tell him to stand down. He’s not getting captured again, and, well.... 

Shin has never been good at listening. 

He pulls Tevis’s body with all his strength, regrettably using it as cover as he snags his weapon. It’s a lengthy struggle back to the rocks they were hiding behind earlier. Two more shots ring out, one striking the ground between his and Tevis’s tangle of limbs and the other hitting the meaty part of Shin’s calf. He shouts out of surprise and pain, giving one last heave to get them behind the stone ridge. 

“Ghost, uh, whatever Tevis calls you, get him up.” 

Within a few moments, Tevis is gasping to life. He puts a hand to his temple, gritting his teeth. “You know, it was only for a second, but damn. That hurts.” 

“You’ll get over it. Right now, we’ve got a bigger problem.” 

Tevis huffs out a laugh, asking his Ghost for his rifle and rolling over to peek. “True enough. What do you think our chances are like?” 

“Pretty good.” 

Tevis keeps his head low, turning a little as he seeks his target. 

“You do realize you’ll have to kill the Ghost, too.” 

The Nightstalker pauses, sinking back down behind their cover. “That’s not something I’m completely comfortable with. I’m not used to killing Ghosts.” 

“Then give me the rifle. This isn’t your war, and I won’t ask you to fight it for me.” 

Tevis stares at him for a long few moments, gauging something about him that Shin really doesn’t understand. Maybe it’s the blood all over him, or maybe his wounds. They are still bleeding and definitely painful. 

Shin is just about to ask him if he’s all right when he shakes his head. “We already made our choice.” He twists back onto his stomach, peering through his scope. A shot cracks the air, causing Tevis to duck a little before lining up his own. He takes a breath, pulling the trigger. It takes a long time for him to take the second shot. Maybe he’s hesitating. 

“I can’t reasonably ask you to do this.” 

Tevis pulls the trigger again, turning to Shin with a grim expression as Light bursts through the air. “You’ll never have to. I told you we made our choice, and it was to save you. You’re one of us now, whether you like the idea of us being caught in the crossfire or not. You don’t get to decide if we get blood on our hands. We fight for each other because we don’t have anything else, and if you’re in danger, we’ll help you. Come hell or high water.” 

Shin stammers at the vow, uncharacteristically lost for words. Of course, before this whole mess started, he wouldn’t have needed them. “I- I.... I don’t know what to say.” 

The Nightstalker offers him an open hand. “Just say you’ll do the same.” 

The once-Lone Gunslinger nods firmly, clasping bracers with the other Hunter and offering him a partial smile. “I swear.” He chuckles softly to himself, savoring the reassurance. 

“Good.” 

Shin glances over the rocks again, hissing as he moves his shoulder and leg. “Archer. Do you mind?” 

“Coast is clear?” 

“Yeah.” 

They both emerge from their hiding place, Shin rubbing his shoulder with a wince. Tevis takes the action as strange, and the other Hunter spots his curious look. “Was wondering the whole time there if I’d pass out. Last time I got shot, it didn’t go so well.” He grimaces, swiping at the blood on his chest plate. “Not to insult your brain matter, but this is gross.” 

Tevis shrugs. “Well, next time you get shot in the head, you let me know if it was clean.” 

Shin sighs, straightening his gauntlets. “Could be worse, I suppose. Let’s just get back so I can get this cleaned off. Something tells me no one will be thrilled with the smell if I leave it.” 

“Heh. No kidding.” 

The pair of Hunters return to the alley where Shin left his groceries, a sense of urgency to be home safe in their bones. It’s no surprise they want to be out of the open, and one of them isn’t fortunate enough to have the ability to disappear. Shin sorts through his stuff, trying to see if anything is missing. He doubts any of the Dredgens would have wasted time to steal his fruit, but he doesn’t want to lose anything. 

He has a not-debt to repay. 

No matter how much the pack fights him on it, he’s going to do his best to make up for his own stupidity. Whether it means he buys food for them on occasion or protects them from the Shadows of Yor, he intends to do all he can. Shin has become accustomed to being taken care of in the last couple weeks. Now, it’s his turn to do a bit of heavy lifting. 

After all, he swore. Come hell or high water. 


End file.
